Why I Hate Halloween
There’s a lot to like about Halloween if you like candy, gore, sexy nurses and death. But I’m not a big fan of the Halloween tradition.
I love seeing the costumes, though, especially on toddlers. Who doesn’t like a toddler dressed as a lion or a cop? You don’t get to see that any other time of the year.
But there are way too many sexy nurses, sexy princesses, sexy Miley Cyrus’s, sexy teachers and just plain sexy teenage girls. The boys, on the other hand, tend to favor costumes that would be accompanied by a fair amount of weaponry. As the mother of a boy, I can attest to the male desire to wield a weapon or two and Halloween is one of the few days out of the year when that’s considered normal, out in public.
By far the most popular costumes every year are the ones featuring blood, guts, gore and death. Bare skulls, arrows going through heads, swords going through bodies, axes dripping in fake blood – it’s all so hideous and creepy and violent. I do like the ghosts, though. The little toddler ghosts.
I’m not a fan of candy either but I hand it out with wild abandon on Halloween. Nobody wants to be given an apple or a box of dried out raisins on Halloween. I don’t want to end up with a bowl of candy sitting in my kitchen so if you come to my house around 9:00 in the evening, I will invert the bowl into your bag and then turn out all of the outside lights and be done with it for another year.
Possibly the most objectionable part of Halloween, however, is the underlying message that if you don’t cough up the treats something bad will happen to your house and it may involve toilet paper. Toilet paper clinging to your tree branches will take forever to blow off, especially if it rains. So it’s basically extortion and the price is candy.
I guess it could be worse!
About the author: Janet Eve Josselyn is a graduate of Colby College, Harvard Graduate School of Design and Boston College Law School. She is a blogger for The Huffington Post and has published one novel, Thin Rich Bitches. She enjoys collecting advanced degrees and not using the knowledge for monetary gain. To her credit, she is remarkably optimistic despite her obvious shortcomings and lack of talent.