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Addison Westlake

Addison Westlake

October 4, 2013 2 Comments

Addison Westlake

About author, Addison Westlake: Addison Westlake made her debut as an author at age 13 by rewriting the “Sweet Valley High” series. Despite copyright violations, she maintains that her rendition of Elisabeth and Jessica Wakefield as preteens in a British orphanage is a classic. Between then and now she went to some fancy schools, swapped out the East Coast for the West Coast, and had oodles of kids. Some of her favorite things in life include coffee, Aretha Franklin’s inauguration hat and the sleepwalking scene in “Step Brothers.”

INTERVIEW

Welcome back! What have you been up to since your first appearance on Chick Lit Goddess? I’ve been enjoying some success with my first self-published chick lit book “Christmas in Wine Country,” out in November 2012. With 25 copies downloaded, it spent six weeks as a best seller on Amazon in women’s fiction, contemporary romance, humorous fiction and humor.

My new chick lit book “Facebook Jeanie” came out 10/1 and is ready to join the party.

Tell us about your new book, “Facebook Jeanie”: It’s Bridget Jones meets “Groundhog Day” as 31-year-old Clara uses a new Facebook app to go back in time for a ‘do over’ with her college boyfriend, The One That Got Away. Ever wonder if you made the right choice? What if you could find out? Back in the world of frat parties, BFFs, and long-suffering, overlooked lab partners, join Clara as she discovers what it really means to hit the reset button on life. What could possibly go wrong? And, this time, can she get it right?

Where did you get the concept for this book? I think we all have those moments when we wonder… what if? What if our lives hadn’t followed the path we chose? What if we did take that job offer in another city or if we did decide to marry that ex-boyfriend? “Facebook Jeanie” came out of that universal experience. I imagined what if there were some way for a character to have a ‘do over’ with the one that got away.

Who or what inspires you? My mom inspires me because of how much she enjoys life, my husband because of how hard he works for the family, and my kids because of how much they’re learning every day.

Describe what the writing/editing/publishing process was like for you? Writing is lovely, like eating chocolates or spending time with loved ones. I can’t get enough of it. Publishing is much more complicated. The technical aspects of formatting and cover design can confusing, and marketing can feel scary and daunting. But when I remember that getting the word out about my book is essentially about connecting with like-minded authors and readers and sharing our love of chick lit, it feels fun again.

What are you reading right now? “The Next Best Thing” by Kristan Higgins.

How did you come up with “Facebook Jeanie”? I started with that ‘what if’ question, then I added in a dash of the magic of social media. I find Facebook fascinating—it both connects and disconnects you. You can keep in touch with friends and family, and you can spend two hours on it not paying any attention to the friends and family in the room with you. I created a character stuck in a Facebook rut, engaging more with photos of someone in her past than anyone in her present. And then I imagined a new Facebook app that lets her travel back in time, making her past her present. The rest is in the book!

If this book were turned into a movie, who would you want to play the parts? I could see Alek being played by Jake Gyllenhaal or James Franco. Clara could be Hayden Panettiere or Teresa Palmer (Warm Bodies). I could see Anna Faris being pretty funny as Jeanie; she’d bring a “House Bunny” element to the role. And Brad? Any good-lucking but vacant & bland guy would do!!!

What is your favorite line from the book? “This is just like Bella and Edward!” Jeanie declared. “Only Brad’s not a vampire, so it’s even better!”

How has social media helped you with your career? As an indie author, I don’t think any of us would be able to publish without social media. In some ways, Amazon is one big social media site—a place to share and interact with content. Without social media, we’d all be waiting to be asked to the dance by an agent. Instead, we’re all rocking out on the dance floor.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given? Relax. My husband says it a lot.

Can you tell us about any upcoming projects? I’m excited to start work on “The Never Been Kissed Club” series. Four friends band together at 13 years old. In the midst of all the braces and glasses and gawkiness, they take an oath to stay friends forever and remind each other that—just like Josie from their favorite movie “Never Been Kissed”—no matter how bad things get they have to keep believing in true love and have faith in happy endings.

The first book, “Just Between Us,” is about one of these four friends. Molly Bridget Anderson has become a 28-year-old accountant who likes to keep things orderly. Which is why chaos—in the form a 2-year-old nephew she suddenly has to look after and a tattooed rock star writing songs for her—is just what she needs to get her life on track. Look for “Just Between Us” in 2014!

GUEST POST

FUN WITH FLAWS

For ChickLit Goddess

I love flawed characters. I think it’s a big reason why I love chick lit. I like romances, too, but sometimes everything in a typical romance is just a little too neat. It can get boring.

After all, they say “write what you know.” I write chick lit perhaps because I, myself, am nothing if not flawed. I make mistakes all day long. I forget names even when I’ve met the person a thousand times. I arrive late despite my best efforts. Lately, I’m trying to drink a lot of healthy shakes (shout out to my Nutribullet!). Even though I don’t know what chia seeds actually are and I still remember the jingle for Chia Pets “Ch-ch-ch-chia!” I put them in my shakes because someone told me that they’re healthy. The problem is that the seeds get caught in my teeth. I don’t realize it and then I go around talking to people with insane brown spots all over my mouth. It’s an excellent look.

Which brings me back to my main point: flaws. When I’m cooking up a new book, I like my heroines a bit nuts and my heros with a nice side helping of imperfect. It makes everything so much more satisfying, a story you can actually feel and relate to as it unfolds. I like my happy endings, I just like mine with some “we’ve all been there” laughs along the way.

Classic romances are fun, too. I can get swept away by the Edward types with their out-of-this-world good looks and superhuman ability to protect. I can enjoy a typical regency romance with the 18-year-old in pale blue chiffon making her first debut to the ton where she meets Rake McRakerton, Duke of Rakenhurst. I like my cowboys workin’ hard on the homestead with a hankerin’ for a ‘lil slip of a thing in calico. Christian Grey has some appeal, too, especially now that that Sons of Anarchy guy is going to play him. Even all those 50 Shades knock-offs on the bestseller list can be entertaining with their 27-year-old self-made billionaires who also have enough time away from running their global conglomerate to train their bodies into pro-fighter caliber shape, perfect cooking techniques, and shop for their ladies picking out the perfect designer gowns, lingerie and, of course, bling.

But while I enjoy my airbrushed realities where nothing embarrassing happens, my favorite books to read and write all have scenes that make you blush or tear up or clasp your hand over your mouth—no, she didn’t just do that! I like to make myself laugh out loud while I’m writing. And a book that can make me both laugh and swoon? Those are the best. It’s why Kristan Higgins is one of my favorite writers; she always manages to tie everything up in a bow with a dreamy guy even when she starts out with a scene in which the heroine’s sweater gets sucked down a power flush toilet.

The best characters are a bit rumpled. Sometimes grumpy. They get distracted and trip. They make ridiculous mistakes. After all, the best stories are built around conflict, and what better conflict arises than from characters who need to grow? A character with flaws has somewhere to go, a destination, and guess who they meet along the way?

Like so many things, it all brings me back to Darcy. Fitzwilliam Darcy, what a name. Stuffy, stiff, a bit full of himself. It’s so satisfying when Elizabeth Bennet takes him down a peg. And then all the more perfect that she’s clueless, too. They can both learn from each other. Of course, it is nice that Darcy happens to be darkly handsome and impossibly wealthy as well. But there’s no way I would have read Pride and Prejudice over and over again if Darcy hadn’t been an ass at the beginning. I guess we can all take comfort from that: it’s the flaws in ourselves and in our characters that make things the most enjoyable.

FacebookJeanieCover

Blurb for “Facebook Jeanie” by Addison Westlake

It’s Bridget Jones meets “Groundhog Day”…

Ever wonder if you made the right choice? What if you could go back and find out?

31-year-old Clara is in a steady relationship—with Facebook. Every night after her depressing bureaucratic job (so much for saving the world), Clara comes home to her empty apartment (yes, she was dumped) and settles down with a pint of ice cream for some good, old-fashioned Facebook stalking. It’s her college boyfriend, The One Who Got Away. With the bod of a God and a net worth of umpteen bamillion, he now has the perfect life—everything she could have had if she hadn’t been so, so stupid.

But, wait. Jeanie from Facebook shows up at Clara’s job. There’s a new app they’re beta-testing and Clara’s perfect for it. That night she clicks on it and… nothing happens. But the next morning when Clara wakes up at noon, hung over, listening to her roommate blow-drying her hair and singing “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It”, she realizes she’s back in college. With the chance to do it all over again.

Back in the world of frat parties, BFFs, and long-suffering, overlooked lab partners, join Clara as she discovers what it really means to hit the reset button on life. What could possibly go wrong? And, this time, can she get it right?

EXCERPT of “FACEBOOK JEANIE” by ADDISON WESTLAKE

Chapter 1 Excerpt

Once Upon a Time

Clara clicked on the lower-case f icon along the base of her laptop. Laser-like focus, plowing past Facebook status updates, notifications and sponsored ads, she clicked over to friends, then selected him. Mr. Right. The One Who Got Away: Brad Wilkins.

Beach photos first. Because she’d had a long, hard day. She clicked on the album titled Summer.

Blond hair kissed by the sun and tousled by the wind, he stood like a Norse god on the beach. He flashed a rugged, knowing smile. The bright aquamarine of his eyes matched the ocean, the sky and the color of dreams. Move over Chris Hemsworth, there was a new Thor in town. And he’d hit the beach, tanned, rested and ready for the ladies.

An entire paragraph needed to be devoted to his chest. He had the shoulders of a lumberjack accustomed to hauling telephone poles. Pecs so hard and defined a girl could eat dinner off of them, or simply make them the meal. A six pack that mocked other men’s six packs. Put it all together and it made you want to petition NBC to bring back Baywatch, this time starring Brad Wilkins. Millions would tune in each week for the new episode, holding their collective breaths for the moment he took off in a run, shirtless, on the beach. In slow-motion he’d rescue… no one could ever tell you who because every ounce of attention would be riveted to those ripped muscles in action, the way his bicep bulged when he cradled the victim, the way the sunlight almost seemed to magnify the flexing. The man could not possibly ooze more sex appeal. She could practically hear Robin Thicke singing into her ear, “You know you want it.”

But wait, there was more. Clara clicked onto some new photos. Brad in a tux, debonair and polished yet still with the hint of the rake. Brad holding a beer and looking like a long, tall, cool drink himself in a crisp, dark blue pinstripe suit. The designer should pay him for wearing it, showing other men how it should be done, filling it out with sheer male prowess. You could put a suit on the man, but you’d never tame him.

Brad wore suits because he didn’t just play around at the beach all day. The man earned six maybe seven figures a year as an investment banker in New York City. Net worth, including the trust fund? Somewhere near upteenbamillion. The man pulled it down, brought home the bacon and the pan to fry it in. Then made you forget about dinner, anyway, because, there, he just took off his shirt.

Not for the first time, Clara reflected on the sad lack of a soundtrack to accompany clicking through Facebook photos. Because if anyone deserved the romantic, symphonic swells that enhanced the viewing pleasure of a Nicholas Sparks film, it was Brad.

Click. Those pearly whites never failed. Clara put a hand to her chest to still her beating heart.

Should have been. Click. Could have been. Click. Would have been. Click.

What she wouldn’t give for just one wish. She didn’t need three like Aladdin, no flying carpet and rich, elaborate entourage. Just one.

If she only had one wish, just one, she’d go back to college and set things right. She closed her eyes, seeing nothing but Brad, almost convincing herself that if she cleared everything else from her mind, focused intently enough, maybe somehow she could be transported back in time. Back to college. Because this time, she’d do everything different. And this time, she knew she’d get it right.

**GIVEAWAY**

Prize: One (1) eBook copy of “Facebook Jeanie”, two (2) winners!

To enter and win, please leave a comment below, ALONG WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!

**Contact Addison:

Email: addisonwestlake@gmail.com   Blog   Facebook   Goodreads   Google Plus   Twitter

**Click HERE to purchase a copy of Addison’s first book, “Christmas in Wine Country” — it’s only $0.99!

Filed Under: Addison Westlake, Facebook Jeanie Tagged With: Addison Westlake, Book giveaway, Books, Chick-Lit, Excerpt, Facebook Jeanie, Guest Interview, Guest Post

Christmas in Wine Country

December 4, 2012 1 Comment

ChristmasInWineCountryCover

A romantic comedy set in Northern California’s wine country!

Book blurb:  It’s Lila’s big debut as an event planner and the company holiday party is going to be her chance to shine. At a Tuscan-style vineyard near the Northern California coast in the perfect little black dress she’s sure to impress commitment-phobe Phillip. What could go wrong?

72 hours later with no job and no boyfriend, Lila finds herself with all kinds of answers to that question. Like mistaking the glowering Jake Endicott of Endicott Vineyards for the groundskeeper. Or a new video on YouTube featuring Lila pawing her way through drunken karaoke of “Hungry Like the Wolf.”

Solo on the romantic holiday getaway she’d booked for her and Phillip near the vineyard, Lila at least gets to visit with her old friend Annie who lives nearby in the coastal town of Redwood Cove. Drawn into the local bookstore with gleaming wooden floors and welcoming armchairs, Lila chats with the owner and impulsively accepts a job offer.

Sleepy, misty Redwood Cove is the perfect place for Lila to take a break from her horrible track record with guys. The only one she finds even remotely attractive knows her as the holiday party crazy lady. Ranked in Bay Area magazine’s 10 hottest bachelors, Jake Endicott is just the type Old Lila would have wasted years pining after.

Join Lila on her year of comedy, adventure and self-discovery on the Northern California coast, with all kinds of ups, downs and misadventures and a full cast of small-town wine country characters. Thankfully, even the greatest misunderstandings can all be worked out with a little Frank Sinatra and mistletoe.

CHAPTER TEASE, Chapter 1: Hungry Like the Cat

It was a mild and sunny December day that struck terror into the heart of young Lila.

She pulled into the first parking area she saw at the winery, wheels squealing, heart nearly leaping with anxiety out of the car before she had a chance to stand. It was already two thirty in the afternoon, thanks to a wrong turn she’d taken on the long and winding road that led from highway 101 through Southern Sonoma County to Endicott Vineyards.

Surveying the tall, stately cypress trees that lined the path toward the main property, Lila felt a cold kick of panic in her gut. Tonight was her company’s holiday party and she, somehow, found herself in charge of coordinating the event. She’d inherited the task just two weeks ago from another member of AdSale’s Client Relations team. Mariana, trusted with the firm’s toniest events, had been party planning for over a decade. Lila had never done it before. Whether it was a black tie VIP mixer at The Four Seasons or a backyard soiree for 200 of her closest family and friends, Mariana knew how to organize a party. Lila knew how to maintain a database.

Unfortunately, Mariana’s maternity leave, planned for January, had begun in early December. Apparently babies—even those born to famously Type A, triple-check-the-crossed-Ts-and-dotted-Is event planning veterans—operated on their own schedules. Mariana’s firm grip on the event’s reins had instantly gone slack as she’d turned her full attention to her healthy but three-week-early baby. “I set it all up,” she’d assured her in the one panicked call Lila had allowed herself to make. “Don’t worry. I put the wheels in motion. They’re pros at Endicott. They do parties all the time.”

Lila had still wanted to make the drive up last week to check on things, but she’d been guaranteed by the vineyard’s event staff that it wasn’t necessary; everything was going according to plan.

She should have made the trip up anyway.

Propelled as she was by anxiety along the path, she didn’t notice the soft rush of a gentle breeze gliding through the trees. Nor did she notice the playfully winding trail the ivy made along a low, stone wall. Instead, hand to her stomach, she felt the familiar ache of stress and nerves along with the additional pang of hunger. She hadn’t had time for breakfast, or lunch for that matter, but she couldn’t imagine eating a bite.

Wrapping her camelhair coat around herself more tightly, Lila was aware of the irony. When she’d first moved to Northern California from Massachusetts five years ago she’d scoffed at all of the bundling up at 50 degrees. Now she was one of them, tucking a scarf tightly around her neck to ward off the chill.

Passing through a latticework archway, Lila arrived at the vineyard’s expansive courtyard. Surrounded by cobblestone, a grey marble fountain rose in the center, water burbling down two tiers. No giant, naked cherubs, no lions or scenes from Greek mythology, Lila appreciated its smooth simplicity.

Behind it rose a long, large building in similarly grey stone. Softening the austerity, each window had a box filled with ivy and something that bore tiny white flowers—Lila was sure her Gram would know the name of it. The heavy, double wooden doors at its center were framed by large, hanging lanterns.

To the right, Lila recognized what the Endicott website referred to as “The Great Room.” Seating capacity 300, the building had French windows down its length. Tonight, it would hold 250 of AdSale’s senior executives, board members and representatives from their most valued clients, some of whom would be flying from international locations. High-end touring buses rented, Mariana had persuaded the higher-ups that a 75 minute drive up from San Francisco was worth it to experience Northern California’s wine country. There was a reason it was famous the world over. Far better than a hotel ballroom in the city, it would give guests a taste of laid-back luxury, essentially what AdSales pedaled: The Good Life.

When they’d booked the vineyard back in May, Lila had accompanied Mariana on the site visit. Even the drive out had been stunning. Twenty minutes north of the city highway 101 turned bucolic; cows grazed along rolling hills which, that time of year, were still green. Workaholic Mariana had softened right up in the setting and suggested grabbing lunch twenty minutes further, up over the ridge and down Highway 1 to the coast and small, picturesque town of Redwood Cove.

It had almost felt as if arriving in a charming and slow-paced Brigadoon. The pounding of surf and caw of sea birds had serenaded them as they’d eaten their salads by the sea. Lila had felt some guilt over not phoning her college roommate, Annie, who lived there with her husband and one-year-old daughter. But she and Mariana were busy, the visit had been impromptu and she would call Annie when she got home.

What she did instead when she got home was book a romantic three day getaway for her and Phillip. She hadn’t planned to do it. Frankly, she’d shocked herself with her uncharacteristic boldness. It must have been the romance of Redwood Cove holding sway over her usual cautiousness. As she and Mariana had headed out of town and Lila gazed out the window awe-struck at the crashing surf, she’d spotted a ridiculously well-situated and picturesque B&B. The owners should have dispensed with formalities and called it Ideal Romantic Getaway.

She’d been seeing Phillip, a director at AdSales, for two years now. He’d been talking about how he needed a break. He didn’t see it happening anytime soon, not during the current campaign push, but maybe during the holidays. So Lila had booked them into the B&B during the downtime between Christmas and New Year’s.

It would be perfect—time for them to get away and relax, just the two of them. He’d been somewhat noncommittal when she’d excitedly told him about it, but she knew that was just the stress. He never thought he could take time off. That’s why Lila had to make the time for them both. He had a very stressful job, as he was always telling her. Not to mention the cloak-and-daggers they had to engage in to keep their romantic relationship undetected. Interoffice romances were strictly forbidden. That’s why they really needed this getaway.

Nearing the entrance to the Great Room, a man passed Lila wheeling in what looked to be a wagon pulled by a plastic donkey.

Distracted, Lila stumbled on the cobblestone and reached out to steady herself on what turned out to be a giant inflatable Saguaro cactus. Face up against the green plastic—which at least cushioned her fall against the side of the building—Lila wondered at it, and at the matching six foot tall cactus on the other side of the entrance. A strange contrast to the formal French doors and stately European feel of the grounds, Lila figured it must be some sort of vineyard quirk.

The long, well-lit room had eight or so people buzzing about, a veritable hive of activity. Nearest to the doors, a man chipped away at a block of ice. The emerging shape looked nothing like the swan she’d ordered.

“Hi.” Lila tried to adopt a calm, rational, in-charge tone. “I’m Lila, the event coordinator for AdSales. You are?” The man glanced at her with a clear look of annoyance.

“I am working.” He had a distinct French accent.

“Yes, I see that. On the ice sculpture. That I ordered.” She waited hopefully for him to grow more friendly but instead he turned his back and continued working.

“It’s a swan, right? A swan, lifting its wings as if ready to take flight?” Carefully chosen to symbolize the turn-around their company was about to make. The man gave a deep sigh, set down his chisel, took off his gloves and rested a hand on his hip.

“It is not a swan.” His tone suggested that the idea of a swan was a deep insult. “You do not want a swan.”

“Actually, yes,” Lila swallowed nervously. “I do want a swan.” A VP of something or other had stopped by her cubicle last week and told her, rather cryptically, that there should be something “uplifting” to welcome guests.

“You do not get a swan,” Both hands went up to his hips. “You get a giraffe.”

“It’s…that’s…” Lila gestured at the ice but lacked words to express how not like a swan that was.

“You are lucky I do not make the mistake of crafting what is not there. Girard looks at the block, the solid object. He knows what lies within, waiting to be released.” Lila looked around for Girard before realizing that Girard was none other than the ice sculptor talking about himself in the third person.

Searching for someone, anyone else, Lila spotted a woman in a cropped jacket and black slacks. She was holding a clipboard and appeared to be giving orders to three twentysomethings in white shirts and black pants. Lila waved at her with the calm of a shipwrecked man on a raft spotting a rescue copter. The woman held up a finger to signal she’d be there in a moment.

Lila tugged at her own jacket, wishing it lay flat and crisp like the woman’s. Ironic how at a size two she felt less comfortable in her clothes than when she’d been a size twelve. She also, somehow, felt less pretty.

Back in the size twelve years, her loyal college roommate Annie had sworn she looked like Kate Middleton. The assertion might have held up better had the princess spent a few weeks in a donut shop, favored men’s overalls and had an astigmatism that required a thick eyeglass lens. Comparisons to Princess Kate didn’t work any better now, five years out of college, as Lila had having dropped nearly forty pounds and bleached and straightened her hair within an inch of its life. Leaving behind her “awkward phase” as her Gram put it, she’d had LASIK surgery once she’d learned doctors gave you valium. She’d also splurged on a new wardrobe—big city advertising firm chic—featuring narrow heels, slim-cut skirts and even slimmer-fitting blouses.

Marching over with efficiency, the woman in charge gazed down at her clipboard and said, “How may I help you,” in a flat, clipped monotone.

“Lillian Clark,” she introduced herself, trying unsuccessfully to make eye contact. Almost everyone called her Lila and she didn’t mind that, but in times of great need she pulled out the Lillian. “I’m from AdSales,” she continued, “I’m…in charge of things tonight.”

The woman looked up, obviously surprised. “Not Mariana?”

“No, she had her baby so she’s out on maternity leave and, thankfully, everything’s OK, 5 pounds 8 ounces, a baby boy—”

Cutting off Lila’s stream of nervous babble before she had a chance to tell her they’d named him Mauricio and decorated the nursery with monkeys, the woman asked, “So, you’re in charge?”

“Yes.” Lila straightened herself, wishing she felt none of the doubt expressed in Boots’ tone.

“Well, we have everything all set for tonight.” Looking over at the end of the room where a couple of stairs led to a small stage and a man was now climbing a ladder, the woman excused herself for a moment.

Waiting, Lila wondered where were the little white lights? In all her Phillip Declaring His Love Holiday Party daydreams there had always been little white lights, the twinkly kind that formed the ideal backdrop for true romance.

She planned to have her hair up in a sleek chignon. She wasn’t exactly sure what a chignon was, but she knew Phillip would love it. She’d been practicing pinning her hair back into a twist in hopes it would suffice. Together with her perfect little black dress and—gasp—red stiletto slingbacks she’d bought on impulse yesterday deciding she needed more va-va-voom in her outfit, she knew tonight had to be the night. She’d be standing to the side looking impossibly slim and sophisticated, holding a glass of champagne. Phillip would be drawn to her like a moth to a flame and she’d turn, casually, with an “Oh, hello,” smiling at his wonderment as he realized that this lustrous pearl was none other than the girl he’d been seeing for the past three years without any public recognition whatsoever. Struck, as if by lightening, he would loudly and proudly make the announcement to the firm—consequences be damned, so he was a director and she a lowly client relations associate—he was in love with this gorgeous creature and he wanted the world to know it!

“OK, let’s review the list.” The woman was back. Ticking her way through items on her clipboard, she started reading: “Nacho cheese dipping station, served in sombrero. Piñata. Karaoke machine.”

“It’s…” A mix of true bafflement and horror rendered Lila almost completely dumb. To her right, an eight-foot Mexican flag unfurled with a snap from the top of the rafters. Below it, two more giant, inflatable cacti stood tall and bright green.

Elegant. Tasteful. Refined. Something to wow our top clients and board. These were the expectations for the event. “Nacho cheese dipping station?” she tried, hoping for a laugh from the woman and the reassurance that, all appearance to the contrary, she was quite the practical joker.

“Come with me.” She led Lila around the room, orienting her to the stations in various states of assembly. “It was not easy to find this,” she remarked, pointing to a giant baby-shaped piñata. Swaddled in a diaper, it had a halo over its head.

“Is that the baby Jesus?” Lila asked.

“Yes, the baby Jesus piñata you requested. Had to special order that one.”

“So…the guests take turns whacking the baby Jesus?”

“It’s got all sorts of candy inside,” she reassured Lila.

“Um, wait…” With the distinct impression she’d found her way into the wrong movie, Lila decided the best way out was simply to stop, shake her head, and will it all not to be so. “This is not right. This is for the AdSales holiday party, right?”

“I have to admit, we were surprised by some of your requests. But Mariana was so specific. And we’ve done so many parties with her before. She’s always on top of things.”

Taking the clipboard offered her, Lila read off the printed list. It included four six-foot inflatable saguaro cacti.

“For example, you only requested beer and margaritas,” She pointed to the bullet-pointed beverage list: all caps CERVEZAS! “Yet you do understand we are a winery.”

Looking at it, Lila realized “pregnancy brain” wasn’t just a cute myth. The indefatigable Mariana had clearly taken the list of supplies for her infamous, annual backyard Cinco do Mayo party and sent it to the Endicott Vineyard’s party coordinator. For AdSales’ VIP holiday party.

“But you knew to have an ice sculpture?” Lila grasped at a straw.

“You called and requested that last week.”

Back at the entrance once again for air, Lila wobbled her way out onto the cobblestone. “You know, maybe we just need to focus on this.” Lila gestured at the uneven stones she’d stumbled upon earlier. Exercising the terribly faulty judgment of one in the throes of panic, Lila ignored the inflatable cacti and arriving mariachi band in favor of the unfixable. “We need to deal with this safety issue.”

“Excuse me?”

“The cobblestone. It’s so dangerous.” Near hyperventilation, Lila swallowed and found her throat strangely constricted or swollen. Maybe she was having an allergic reaction? They stood together, the elder event planner studying Lila, the younger scrutinizing the courtyard, biting her nails and envisioning all manner of hideous accidents.

Across the way a tall man in a bulky fisherman knit sweater strolled toward the main building of the estate. Head down, hands in the pockets of his corduroys, he moved slowly, lost in thought. He looked perfectly steady on the stones. Then again, he had on work boots.

A waiter darted up. “Are we going with the 10-foot ovals or the eight-foot? Because last time—”

“One sec.” The event manager directed traffic, raising her left index finger to ask the staff to wait while raising her right hand to wave over the man in the sweater. Calling out “Jake!” she signaled, “Over here.” He looked up, slowly and not particularly thrilled about the interruption. “A question.” Pointing at Lila she then hustled with the waiter back into the room.

As Jake ambled over Lila fought the impatient urge to run toward him. He must be the groundskeeper. He had a kind-of a slow and steady way about him and looked to be about Lila’s age or a bit older, perhaps in his early 30s.

“You have a question?” he asked as he reached her.

“Yes,” she began. “It’s the cobblestone.” He stood with his arms crossed against his chest. “It’s dangerous.” He kept looking at her, but now with a slight tilt to his head. Suffused with the enormity of the impending calamity, Lila continued in a rush, “In about half an hour we’re going to have 250 people—maybe even more if they didn’t RSVP and that’s so likely because we sent out invitations with the reply card in the mail but who even reads their mail anymore—”

“I read my mail.”

“OK, but what I’m trying to say is there’s going to be hundreds of people showing up for this party and how are they even going to get inside without breaking their necks?” Though she detested the shrill note her voice reached and the inexplicable flail her hand made, anxiety triumphed over embarrassment. “It’s a disaster!”

Jake looked from Lila to the courtyard and back again. Not so much alarmed as puzzled with a hint of annoyance.

“Well?” Lila nearly shrieked. “What are you going to do about it?”

Raking a hand through his dark, unruly hair Jake exhaled, “Do about it?”

“How are you going make sure everyone’s safe? Because, I don’t see safe here.” Lila gestured around her wildly. “I see broken wrists. I see trips to the ER.”

“You want me to do something about the cobblestone?” he asked, seeming to just register her request. “This cobblestone cemented into the ground?”

“Yes, whatever.” Lila dismissed the irrelevant details. “This dangerous, uneven surface.”

“This is a replica of a fountain in Tuscany.” Drawing up to his full height, Jake made the statement as if it explained everything.

“I don’t care what it’s replicating!” Lila’s panic rose in direct proportion to the degree to which it was ignored. “People will fall on the way from the parking lot!”

“What, exactly, do you propose we do about it?”

“I don’t know! That’s your job!” Her hands flew up once again in exasperation. “Put some bubble wrap down over it!” Immediately hearing a popping soundtrack accompanying the imaginary scene of chaos, Lila revised, “No, throw a tarp over it! Yes, that’s it! A nice tarp.” She looked out over the courtyard, wondering what exactly a nice tarp would look like. Black? Could they find one with some shimmer?

“You want me to put a tarp down over the cobblestone?” he repeated, incredulous. “Or, I’ve got it!” He snapped his fingers and Lila looked up for a moment in hope. “I could carry the guests. I could be a shuttle. They could hop on my back and I could run them into the ballroom.” Lila’s mouth opened in shock at the rudeness.

Then, to her complete disbelief, he turned and simply walked away. Not in a hurry, no angry huff, the same nonchalant pace he’d assumed prior to learning about the crisis. Appalled, she watched him in stunned silence as he headed down a paved path along the side of the building. It was a flat, safe, handicapped accessible path that she’d somehow missed before, leading directly to an adjacent parking lot.

As a hot flush of embarrassment flooded her cheeks, Endicott’s event coordinator appeared once again at her side. “Now about the margarita maker. It’s in a wagon being pulled by a plastic donkey.”

Looking inside the French doors, Lila found herself locked in a gaze with a large and unrepentant ice giraffe.

**Click HERE to read an interview and guest post by the author, Addison Westlake

Filed Under: Christmas in Wine Country Tagged With: Addison Westlake, Books, Christmas in Wine Country

Addison Westlake

December 4, 2012 1 Comment

Addison Westlake

Bio of author, Addison Westlake:  I made my debut as an author around 13-years-old rewriting Sweet Valley High books. In one version Elisabeth and Jessica Wakefield were preteens living in a British orphanage.

Later in my adolescence I launched into a self-important Personal Reflection Phase with a lot of thought pieces, meditations on themes and poetry reflecting in sad words about sad things, sadly. My 20s ushered in an even more unappealing Political Phase with a lot of angry, partially informed commentary raging against the machine, the lever operating the machine and the guy funding the production of the lever and the machine.

I’m happy to say that I’ve now returned From Whence I Came! I’m back, baby, on the main quad of Sweet Valley High where hot guys drive hot cars and it only rains when you don’t have a date for the prom. And then the sun comes out, anyway, because everything works out after all!

INTERVIEW

When did you start writing?  Around 13-years-old. During a long summer I started rewriting the “Sweet Valley High” series. As if anyone could improve on that!

Describe yourself in five words:  Parisian, chic, effortlessly slender, elegant…wait, did you mean for real?

Where is your favorite place to write?  My favorite place to write is anywhere I can find time to write. Frequently this means writing in the mini van while my 2-year-old naps in the car seat and we wait for the older kids to finish school or activities. It’s pretty glamorous; I’ll scribble on the backs of envelopes or forms I need to fill out (whoops). Also, there’s a small table in the kitchen by the window where I show amazing capacity to block out filth and clutter and write away.

What is on your desk?  Desk? That’s an awesome idea!

Take us through a typical day of you life:  Hectic! I’ll just highlight the typical start and end for you:

START OF THE DAY:

  • 3am overly-imaginative 4-year-old calls out and requires comforting and convincing that there are no such things as witches.
  • 5:55am 2-year-old yells “Want Lunch!” I stumble to her crib to discover she’s somehow stripped herself of PJs and diaper and is in her naked, plump glory, an incredible scowl on her angry morning face. “Lunch!” she again demands as I gather her up into my arms and give her a ‘nuggle’—she’ll only be a baby a little while longer, with that amazing soft plump warm feel and just a hint, too, of that baby smell. I reassure her I’ll get her breakfast in a minute, after I bring her into bed with me and Daddy and attempt to get another 20 minutes of sleep. That doesn’t work.

END OF THE DAY:

  • 9:05pm girls are finally down after yelling for “bubble water” and requesting several more rounds of goodnight kisses. My son is likely still reading under his covers.
  • 9:25pm Tell my son he really has to go to sleep. Lunches are packed—yes, cream cheese bagels yet again. I dare any teacher to suggest I provide a more varied diet. Dirty dishes are still in an endless supply, popping up around the house, laughing at me and mocking my pain.
  • 9:35pm My husband and I know we need to discuss health benefits because the plan we’re on is changing in some completely incomprehensible way which will likely cost of thousands of dollars if we make the wrong decision. Instead, we watch “Chopped” together on the couch.
  • 9:40pm Husband and I are both fast asleep. At some later point we somehow manage to get back up into our bed without either one regaining full consciousness.

Who or what do you admire most?  My husband who works so hard.

What is your favorite part of the writing/editing/publishing process?  Cooking up new ideas that make me laugh.

What is your favorite word?  Pamplemousse, the French word for grapefruit.

Salty or sweet?  Sweet.

Hard/paperbacks or eBooks?  Both! My husband and I have stacks of books on our bedside tables and we love the library—but what’s easier than a Kindle?

What did you do to celebrate your first book being published?  My wonderful girlfriends printed out the Amazon page with my book and made a little card out of it & we toasted with champagne. And my husband gave me my anniversary gift a week early to celebrate—I do like sparkles…

Can you tell us about any upcoming projects?  Why, yes! In January I’ll be publishing a compilation of humorous essays I’ve written over the past year or so about parenting. Haven’t figured out the title yet, but it might be “Mommy Looks So Tired” (with a special thank-you to the grocery story clerk who observed that about me on a day when I really thought I had it all together).

I’m also working on another romantic comedy novel and will be excited to publish that in about a year.

GUEST POST

Top 10 Ways to Sink your New Book Like The Titanic

Two weeks ago I self-published my romantic comedy novel “Christmas in Wine Country” on Amazon as an ebook. And let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride. Apparently, there’s this thing called “marketing” or “advertising” your work. Some experts even recommend starting this process BEFORE you publish. Crazy, right?

Anyway, I’ve learned a lot in the past two weeks about trying to get the word out about a new book. And I’ve come across a lot of helpful advice on the Internet, usually written by best-selling, self-published authors who’ve gone from zero to hero with savvy marketing plans and amazing headshots of themselves that they didn’t just crop out of a photo in which they’re surrounded by four children.

Well, how about some how-tos from someone who’s doing most things wrong? Let’s turn my pain into your gain.

Here’s my Top 10 List of Things Not To Do when Promoting Your New Book:

#10 Tweet, repeatedly, to no followers.

#9 Have difficulty navigating your new gmail account so that when people express interest in your book you don’t see their emails and never reply.

#8 Feel too awkward promoting your book to mention it to anyone.

#7 Insist that your book defies categorization – not chick lit, not rom com, not women’s lit, not romance. It can’t be boxed-in or even really described, you just have to read it.

#6 Spend a lot of time wondering if it’s really all worth it.

#5 Glance up from your computer screen, look around and really take in the filth. Feel compelled to clean instead of whatever else you were doing to promote your book.

#4 Start reading that 5-pound tome that won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction. Wonder how much better it is than your book. Tweet about it.

#3 Miss out on sleep by having nightmares that your new job is blogging for a pimp. (This actually happened to me. I don’t mean to be presumptuously self-analytical, but is it possible that I’m conflicted about promoting my work??? Funniest part of my dream: trying to find the “upside” of pimp-blogging. As in, “maybe the content will be so risqué that my blog will get a lot of followers!”

#2 Devote the majority of your time to emailing the publicists of super famous people and telling them how much better your book is than their clients’ movie/single/TV show, etc. Then asking for the endorsement of aforementioned super famous people.

#1 Widely publicize your mother’s review of your book, but only if she self-identifies as your mother and her review is mixed. “Well, my daughter’s always been something of a disappointment…”

I’ll close simply by giving my new book a huge plug—“Christmas in Wine Country” a romantic comedy, the perfect holiday read! Curl up with a glass of wine, it’ll make you laugh out loud! Over 8,000 copies downloaded this weekend during my 2 free promo days when, in the Free Kindle category, it ranked #24 OVERALL, #2 in Humor and #9 in Contemporary Romance!

Wait, what? I’m not supposed to plug my book in a guest blog? It’s not about self-promotion, it’s about connecting with potential new readers? Darn it. Make that #11 on my list of what not to do.

**Click HERE to read a blurb and 1st chapter tease of “Christmas in Wine Country!”

**Contact Addison:

Blog

Email: addisonwestlake@gmail.com

Facebook

Twitter

Filed Under: Addison Westlake Tagged With: Addison Westlake, Christmas in Wine Country, Guest authors

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