Jennifer Ammoscato

“The Internet Made Me Do It (The Avery Fowler 2.0 Trilogy Book 2)” by Jennifer Ammoscato

Blurb:

It’s been forty-three days, seven hours and twenty-six minutes since reporter Avery Fowler last consulted her favourite website, HowTo.com, for advice.

But now—her mouse finger’s getting itchy:

You see, after a year of highs, the lows are coming fast and furious.

Maybe just this one time, she can turn to Clem…

Dear HowTo.com: Is it hacking if it’s my boyfriend’s computer?

Dear HowTo.com: What’s in fashion for S&M: leather or lace?

Dear HowTo.com: Should there be icicles in my turkey?

Dear HowTo.com: Is the definition of “hooker” flexible?

Does Avery have an unhealthy Internet advice dependency? Probably.

But it would never steer her wrong—would it?

EXCERPT

IN THE fluttering light of the melting candles, through a thin slit in the black scarf that covers my eyes, I see the promising shadow that his manhood casts against the wall of the dusky bedroom.

My stomach muscles quiver in anticipation. The silken knots that bind me tightly to the bedpost are no longer restraints. Instead, I know, deep in my core, that they will unleash a wild abandon that I never knew existed.

He steps closer to the bed on which I lay helpless; his sapphire blue eyes flicker over me—wanton and full of lust. He licks his luscious, full, red lips in appreciation of my carnal offering. I draw in my breath and the bustière thrusts my breasts tantalizingly closer to his insatiable mouth.

The palpable heat of my skin—and the furnace that he knows burns inside of me—invites him ever nearer. I wait for his touch. For his command. For him to impose his will. I wait with a fast-beating heart and he plunges—

“Avery, are you home?”

Shit! It’s Ryan! I shove the book under my pillow and my Better-Than-Ex vibrator under the covers. Damn it! It won’t shut off! I feel frantically for the switch and silence its enthusiastic buzzing.

“Ave, where’re you?” I hear the telltale creak; he’s on the first step on his way upstairs to see me.

“Just resting,” I moan in a listless voice. (Mild nausea or strep throat? Which should I pretend I have? I can play either but nausea invites unfortunate visuals that I don’t want my boyfriend to associate with me.)

I close my eyes, sink back onto the pillow, and try my best for a tired, mildly ill expression. (The telltale glow in my cheeks will probably rat me out.)

Ryan appears at the door of our bedroom. “Why’re you in bed? Not feeling well?”

I groan, roll over on my side, and open one eye. “My throat’s not quite right,” I rasp. As an afterthought, “And, my head’s pounding.”

Ryan leans against the doorframe and appraises my condition. “That’s funny, I thought women use headaches to avoid sex.” He strolls over to the side of the bed and pulls the trashy novel out from under my pillow where I stashed it. (Not that well. Obviously.)

He glances at the cover. “Hmmm. Unleash My Love. If this is a how-to book, I’m completely on board.”

**Get your copy now of “The Internet Made Me Do It (The Avery Fowler 2.0 Trilogy Book 2)”!: Amazon

*****

INTERVIEW

Describe your writing style in five words: Funny, breezy, breathless, bursts and stabby.

Tell us about the Avery Fowler series: The Avery Fowler 2.0 Trilogy is the story of a woman who must learn to grow up and face life with her favourite crutch—the on-line help website, HowTo.com.

It’s comprised of three books: Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery (Book 1); The Internet Made Me Do It (Book 2); and The Internet Never Lies (Book 3).

Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery begins when newspaper reporter Avery Fowler discovers her husband is having an affair and her newspaper’s new publisher is the Wicked Bitch of the West.

Naturally, she turns to HowTo.com for advice on how to handle these challenges.

If the Internet is Avery’s information god, then HowTo.com is her Holy Grail. Its live chat option is like having a virtual life coach for the low, low price of $14.95 a month.But, Avery will eventually discover that

But, Avery will eventually discover that that the Internet doesn’t have all the answers. Even if it takes her three books to do so.

Hard/paperbacks or eBooks? Ebooks.

In what atmosphere do you work best? A bright, sunny room with a caramel latte next to me. Or, wine. Wine works, too.

What is your favorite thing about Avery? Her resilient spirit.

Who or what motivates you? I just love to write. I wrote my first book, Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery, just to prove to myself I could write an entire novel. And then I wondered what I used to do with all that free time!

Salty or sweet? I must choose???? Sweet.

What is your go-to reference book? Collins English Dictionary.

What would your readers be surprised to find out about you? I ran hurdles in high school. (Preparation for real life…)

Tell us about your guilty pleasure? Peanut butter on toast with chocolate chips on it. Or wine.

On your perfect day, what would you do? My husband and I would take our Welsh Springer Spaniel, Remy, for a long walk (and he wouldn’t growl at anyone). Enjoy a coffee on the patio outside (or wine, later in the day). Listen to the birds and appreciate the fact it’s not winter. Maybe go for a drive out to the county for a romantic dinner. And—somewhere in that day—there would be chocolate. Yes. Definitely chocolate.

What are you working on right now? I’m finishing the launch of the Avery Fowler 2.0 Trilogy. My goal was to put all three books up for sale after winning the rights to them back from my publisher. I’m happy with how they ended up and feel I’ve done my best by them. I’m anxious to get back to work on my new novel, The Detour. The main character is a man!

*****

**About the author: I’m chick lit author (and smart-ass blogger) Jennifer Ammoscato. My goal is to make you laugh so hard that I prop up the adult diaper industry in the process.

I live in a small, tucked-away corner in the amazing country of Canada. We love us some hockey and Tim Hortons coffee.

By day, I’m an intrepid writer/editor. By night, I fight crime the urge to organize closets, and to stuff myself with salted chocolate caramels.

I’m married to my wonderful husband, Ezio, and am the mother of two sons, Dante and Christian.

We all serve at the pleasure of our Welsh Springer Spaniel, Remy.

**Contact Jennifer: Facebook Twitter Website Email

“Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery”

Description:

Oh, don’t judge me, people. We all do it.

Don’t try to tell me that you’ve never checked that weird mole on your thigh on WebMD. Or how to fold meringue on Epicurious. And, there’s no way that I’m the only one who clears her search history after looking up how to give a great bl— (Um, that last one’s not important.)

When newspaper reporter Avery Fowler discovers her husband is having an affair, the online help site HowTo.com is where she turns to navigate this challenging stage of her life.

If the Internet is Avery’s information god, then HowTo.com is her Holy Grail. Its live chat option is like having a virtual life coach for the low, low price of $14.95 a month:

When I joined HowTo.com, it assigned me “Clementine” as my advisor, based on my choice of “British female” in the Preferences panel. That way, I can pretend that a Maggie Smith or Judi Dench type supplies the wisdom, tinged with a sassy touch of malt vinegar. (In reality, it’s most likely a bored, seventeen-year-old boy labouring in a New Delhi call centre.)

Add into the mix a new boss whose managerial style calls to mind the Wicked Bitch Witch of the West—or the Anti-Christ—and the poor girl needs all the help she can get! The stakes rise and hilarity ensues as our heroine struggles to take control of her personal life and topple her boss after she learns Victoria’s guilty secret.

With Clementine (virtually) in tow, our heroine tackles such tricky situations as dating after divorce, sex once nothing points north anymore, and how to cover attempted murder scenes (despite a paralyzing fear of blood) as the new and improved Avery Fowler 2.0.

My Review:

Since I started following Jennifer’s blog a long time ago, I’ve been a huge fan, but since having read her debut novel, I’m more in love with her writing style than ever. “Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery” was hilarious right from the start. It jumpped right into the action (saving me no time to jump in, wanting to protect Avery from her cheating hubby), but she handled it…well, like any woman would in her situation, (oh, that poor carpet). Eventually, Avery sees that it’s just not dating after marriage can be a challenge, and that alive can, too, along with learning that having a little “Avery time” can ruin a relationship, (seriously, Raj?).

Overall, I cannot say how much I loved this book, and am eagerly awaiting for another quick, fun, smart, and hilarious read from a very talented author!

I give “Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery” 5 stars!

* * * * *

**About author, Jennifer Ammoscato:

Author Jennifer Ammoscato – solving the world’s problems one cosmo at a time.

Jennifer Ammoscato is a paid, productive member of society. Frankly, it’s not enough.

Therefore, May 2015 will see the launch of her debut novel, “Dear Internet: It’s Me, Avery” (The “Avery Fowler 2.0” series, Book I).

During the day, she is an intrepid writer/editor for the public relations department of a Canadian university. By night, she fights crime and the urge to organize closets and stuff herself with salted chocolate caramels.

Jennifer began writing as a child, producing such classics as “The Occurrence” (she understood the appeal of werewolves long before Stephenie Meyer). She had to search for the courage to write a novel, though. “That’s so F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. I didn’t know if I had the alcohol capacity for it.” However, after being goaded (sorry, encouraged) by a friend, she took the leap.

Dreams do not inspire Jennifer’s books. In fact, they tend to terrify her. In particular, the ever popular naked-at-school or I-have-a-final-exam-and-didn’t-study dreams. She usually just makes stuff up.

She is married to her husband, Ezio. As opposed to someone else’s husband (insert name here).

She is the proud mom of two very tall sons, Dante and Christian.

**Contact Jennifer: Blog Facebook Goodreads Pinterest Twitter

* * * * *

**GIVEAWAY**

Click HERE to be entered to win a $35.00 Amazon Gift Card!

* * * * *