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Book feature

S.Moose

May 13, 2013 4 Comments

ReachingOutForYouCover

About the author, S. Moose:  I grew up in Webster, NY and love it here. I have my BA from St. John Fisher College and am working at MAXIMUS Federal Services. I love reading and writing. I’ve never “followed” the traditional English writing structure and love to be creative. I was inspired to write after reading Forever Black by Sandi Lynn and it has been an amazing journey. I truly love my life and where I am at.

I got married to my best friend June 9, 2012 which is always the date I have selected to release my first novel Reaching Out For You. I selected this day because last year when I married Kevin it was the happiest day of my life. This will be my first book and I am so excited to share with my world Adam and Sophia. Their journey to find love, to me, is a true love story.

I love being around my family and friends. We do everything from family parties, to BBQ’s, going out or just relaxing at home.

I feel like I am achieving my goals and dreams but this is just the beginning.

INTERVIEW

What is the writing/editing/publishing process like for you?  I am doing everything on my own because I like to set my own schedule and deadlines. I’ll brainstorm for a day or two and then start writing. I love to listen to music while I write because it inspires me and I get some pretty great ideas while doing so. Editing is my nightmare! With Reaching Out For You there were times when I wanted to press delete and disappear but with the love and support of my family and friends I was able to overcome my fears.

A writer must have…:  A creative mind. You must be able to paint a story for your readers and connect with them with your words.

Where is your favorite writing location?  In my room-it’s my safe haven.

What is your favorite word?  Love

Who or what inspires you?  Self-published authors. I am in several groups on Facebook and the authors I have connected with are amazing. I love talking to them and getting their opinions.

What are you reading right now?  Resisting Her by Kendall Ryan

How do you come up with the titles of your books?  I like to play around with words and what would attract a potential reader.

While working, what is your choice of snack?  Cookies and chips haha so terrible for you but it’s my weakness!

Who is your favorite author, and what would you like to tell him/her?  Sandi Lynn-thank you so much for your encouraging words and wisdom. You have helped me so much and I am so thankful to have you as my friend. I hope to meet you one day and hug you because you truly have made an impact with my decision to pursue my writing career.

How has the social media helped your career thus far?  I love it. Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads have been very helpful and without social media people wouldn’t know about me or my book.

Five years from now you hope to…:  Be on the New York Times Bestseller list with several books published. I hope to have a publishing company find me and offer me a deal of a lifetime. Personally, I hope to be a mom in five years and feel complete.

Can you tell us about any future projects you have in mind?  I am currently working on my second book, Teach Me Love. It’s about finding love and trusting yourself. The power of love can create miracles and hopefully it’ll open up his eyes. Additionally, I am working on the second book to the Never Letting Go series which will be about Connor and Erin-best friends of Adam and Sophia. No title yet but be on the lookout for both novels.

BOOK FEATURE

ReachingOutForYouCoverBlurb of “Reaching Out For You”

Adam and Sophia were best friends but when tragedy strikes it’s more than Adam can handle and he leaves Sophia alone in the dark.

Four years later, Adam and Sophia are reunited and the sparks between them return but is it too late?

Sophia is happy again and has let go of the darkness. She has great friends and a sweet boyfriend name Kyle. Now that Adam is back how will she be able to balance her boyfriend and her best friend?

The darkness always finds you again but will Adam be able to save her or leave her again?

Chapter 1

Life is tricky. It does things that make you wonder. It always throws curve balls but it takes strength and love to be able to get through the disasters. The simple words and actions of others can make a difference between life and death. Sometimes it’s hard to feel love, but it’s always there. The love of a parent, a sibling or a friend is there but the darkness has a way of hiding those feelings that people yearn for. Darkness. What a funny word that carries such evilness and fear. The darkness can be defeated but it takes a strong person that’s willing to see past it and reach for the light. The light can be anyone or anything.

My light left me in the dark, but life always has a way of making things right again. I see my light every week but I can’t bring myself to say anything. I feel nothing but shame and embarrassment. I messed up with my light and I wish he’d see how much I miss him. But I think it might be too late. My light looks happy and satisfied. I don’t wanna mess up his life like I did before.

I look down at my journal and read what I just wrote. Writing was an escape from reality for me. I could write about anything and everything and know that my words were for my eyes only. It was a release and a way to put things in perspective- my own private counseling session. I was able to reevaluate my thoughts and actions.

My therapist, Dr. Taylor, keeps encouraging me to write since it allows to me see myself in my words. My thoughts run wild as I think about Adam. He’s the only one who understands me. I fell in love with him when we were ten years old. I used to imagine our wedding and being with him forever. He’s still my first love. I think about him every day. The bond we had was irreplaceable. I didn’t think that leaving him would leave an ache in my heart that has never gone away.

I place my head on my pillow and my mind goes back to August when I saw him again. He came into my creative writing class and I couldn’t believe he was there. I thought he was in Boston for school and never thought I’d see him sitting there in my class at my school. His blonde hair was done perfectly and those piercing blue eyes looked through me as if he saw my soul. The way his polo hugged his beautiful body made me quiver. I imaged him picking me up in those strong arms and putting those lips all over me.

I shake my head and push those thoughts away. It’s too late and the damage had been done. I close my journal and put it back under my pillow. I think a little more about life as I get up from my bed to get ready for class.

I’m in my senior year of college and am up for a full time position with Optimax-a newfound technological company that focuses on the success of students. The company has released new products that help students who have trouble learning and paying attention. The new advances in the company strived to push students in the middle and high school levels to graduate and go to college.

I’ve always wanted to help people especially kids and teens. The position at the company primarily focuses on the marketing and sales end but just to be a part of something so innovative is a great feeling. Life is going well and I’m happy but there’s still something missing.

I finish getting ready for class and give myself a quick check in the mirror. I grab my purse and books and head out. My dorm was newer and nicely renovated. I have the dorm room to myself and it feels good to come back after a day full of classes to relax and not have to worry about anyone else. College was a whole new world for me.

The university was older and has a historical essence. It was built in the 1899’s but there’s so much life and energy that surrounds the school. It provides a calm and serene feeling that helps students relax. The trees and intact nature gives it a touch of tranquility many people try to find after a long day of classes. Some of the buildings are newer, but many of the buildings didn’t have elevators, only stairs. There are four different main buildings and six buildings for the dorms with 15 rooms on each floor. Each dorm building has three floors and are all secured. Each student has their own key card with access to just their building. I feel safe in my dorm knowing that not anyone could come right in. There are benches and trees all over and during the warmer months several students would plant flowers in the courtyard to enhance the liveliness of the school. I’m only an hour away from home so leaving wasn’t ever an issue. I wanted to be close yet far enough so that I was able to grow and live my own life without the protective eyes of my dad and older sister Sarah.

It’s December and luckily no snow in North Carolina. It’s freezing outside but the walk to my class isn’t too bad of a walk. I look around and notice the bare trees all around. There’s a peaceful feel in the air today. I look up to the sky and remember my mom’s voice-god I miss her so much.

As I enter the building I see Erin chatting away with a group of friends. I still remembered the day I met her.

It was the first day of freshmen orientation and I saw this petite blond hair, green-eyed girl coming my way. I thought she’d mistaken me for someone else so I turned around and started walking away.

“Hey!”

I turned around and saw her smile. “Um hi?” The question in my tone made me sound like a snob but I didn’t know how else to answer her.

“I’m Erin. It’s nice to meet you! I love your outfit! Oh my god! We need to go shopping together.”

We’ve been friends ever since.

“Why hello sunshine.” She gives me a quick hug and smiles. “Where you going now?”

I point over to the classroom on the right hand side. “History. World War II you know that fun stuff.”

“I don’t even know why you’re taking that class. You’re like done with everything so why bother.”

“One it’s a very interesting class and two I like to learn new things.”

“Learn anything from Kyle yet?” The evil smirk on her face makes me laugh.

Kyle Harrington, captain of the basketball team, all around amazing, sweet, sexy, gorgeous and smart guy is my boyfriend. We met at the Business Leaders of America group last semester. We were assigned to work together on a project and I hated the idea of being paired with him. I thought he was a cocky jock at first and I was prepared to do the whole project without him. But he surprised me and put in his part of the project. We spent endless nights together in the café going through every slide to ensure everything was perfect. Kyle was like me, a perfectionist. He had so many good ideas and I was crushing on him bad only after spending so much time with him but I wasn’t experienced and never had a boyfriend so being around Kyle was new. I had a feeling he felt the same way but I was too scared to ask. He’d ask me to go to his basketball games and we spent a lot of time together. Finally on our fourth date, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. We’ve been together for a few months and things were going great but he started to change. Our relationship turned from romantic and sweet to arguing every day. I didn’t know what to do-I wanted to break up with him. I’m holding a secret and I’ve tried to leave him but he won’t let me go. I can’t seem to get away and each time I do, he gets mad and treats me horribly. I shake away those thoughts and try to focus on Erin.

I look back and see her waiting patiently for my answer. “No nothing new,” I laugh.

“How are you a 21 year old virgin? God Soph are you planning on becoming a nun or something?”

“Funny.” I shrug my shoulders. “You’re lucky you’re my best friend. But I gotta get to class, talk to you later.” We give each other another hug and I get to class. I make my way to the back of the classroom and get ready for class to start.

Students are slowly making their way into class. The room is fairly large with windows all over. It’s nice to look out and watch the world pass you by during a boring lecture. Today we’re discussing imprisonment. So fun.

I pull out my notebook from my purse when I see Adam come into the room. My breathing stops and I feel my heart pounding. Our eyes meet and there’s something in his eyes that I can’t figure out. He has a look-a look he used to always give me. He puts his hand up to say “hi” and smiles. I freeze. I can’t say or do anything. He didn’t have this class so why is he here? My mind goes back to the night I almost lost Adam:

I was driving to the restaurant to meet my dad and Sarah for dinner. I was at the stoplight when I saw someone sitting by a tree in the corner of the road. Usually I ignored the person and carried on but a voice told me to go see if they were okay. I pulled my car up to the curb and put it in park. When I got out and started walking over to the mysterious person, I realized it was Adam and started running. I made sure he was breathing and started to shake him. He slowly opened his eyes and said my name, “Sophia,” and passed out again. I smelled alcohol on his breath and knew that if we brought him to the hospital and got the cops involved it would mean trouble for him and I didn’t want that to happen. I ran back to my car and brought it over so I could put Adam in the backseat. I immediately called my dad and told him what was going on; he was a doctor at a nearby hospital and he would know what to do. He got nervous and wanted me to call Adam’s parents but I knew his dad would have freaked out so I pleaded with mine to have him spend the night. It took some time but my dad finally gave me instructions on what to do. My nerves were running wild and I was scared. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Adam. The adrenaline and fear helped me get him in the car but I was exhausted after getting him in. When I got Adam to my house my dad was there with Sarah waiting for me. We managed to get him inside and settled on the couch. After my dad was done making sure he was ok, he left the room with Sarah so I could be with him. I sat across from him and watched him sleep. I sent a text to Connor letting him know what was going on but never heard back. I wanted to crawl next to Adam and tell him to forgive me and to come back to me but that never happened. I was too scared to see how he’d react. I was leaving the next day to go to school and from what I heard he was heading to Boston. I simply gave me a kiss on the forehead and said goodbye. I never found out what happened the next morning and never asked how he reacted. I left the next morning at six without saying bye to Adam. I hated myself for doing that but I couldn’t face him. Sarah tried to tell me but I waved her off and said I couldn’t handle it because I couldn’t.

The pain in my heart pokes its ugly head out. I would have given anything just to have him back in my life. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and my body aches for his touch. As soon as Dr. Murphy comes into class he takes Adam into the hall. I wonder what’s going on. I try and peek out but they’re so quiet and everyone in class is loud so I can’t hear anything.  I keep thinking about the times we’ve run into each other and the smiles he gives me. Adam has two smiles-a friendly smile and one that means something else. The smile I get is the one that means something else, but I wasn’t sure the meaning. I’ve never taken the chance to talk to him because I’m scared with how he’ll react. Would he dismiss me? Would he care? I don’t think he’d be rude since he smiles whenever I’m around but something just feels off. Finally Dr. Murphy comes back into class, without Adam, and starts his lecture.

I try and listen to what he’s talking about but I keep thinking about Adam. The way he looks today stays on my mind. I love looking into his blue eyes. He was my best friend and I shared everything with him. Every memory I had he was in it. We were inseparable all throughout elementary, middle and high school until senior year when I ended our friendship. If only I could take back that night.

“Miss Burns?”

I quickly look up when Dr. Murphy calls my name. “I’m sorry Dr. Murphy could you repeat the question?”

Annoyance in his tone he asks, “What are your thoughts about imprisonment?”

I look around the room and see my classmate’s eyes on me. This seems like an easy answer since I experience imprisonment almost every day. I’m confident with my answer. “It’s an evil force that was used throughout the war and I think it was used to create fear and control.”

Dr. Murphy’s face starts to glow. “Good Miss Burns.”

He continues on with class and starts talking about how we shouldn’t let history repeat itself and making small changes can help ensure that. I thought about what he was saying and realized how I didn’t want history to repeat. I didn’t want the darkness to take over my life anymore.

When he dismisses class, I hurry out the room.  I send a text to Erin so that we can meet for coffee. My body suddenly freezes and I feel someone watching me. I slowly turn around and see Adam behind me. Why did he have to transfer here to my school? Out of the thousands of schools there are in the United States, why this one? I was doing fine without him near me! Well that’s a lie. I dream about him every night and wish he would come back. But how can I be around him when I’m dating Kyle? I have to be loyal and faithful. It’s hard enough to see him at the basketball practices and games. I try to avoid him at all costs but nothing works. He’s always around!

Erin tried being friends with him since they had some classes together and talked about how good he looked or how nice he is. After a few weeks of listening to her talk about Adam, I became jealous and turned into a bitch. I told her that it was he or I. She called me a dumb and immature for that but being around Adam brought back too many memories that I buried all those years ago.

My eyes are ready to pop out of my head. I didn’t know what to say to him or what to do. He gets in front of my face and I couldn’t talk. Our eyes connect and it’s a feeling no one could ever describe. The way he makes me feel is unbelievable.

“Hey Soph.” He smiles at me. “It was good seeing you in class. Sorry I couldn’t talk but maybe next time.” He places his hand on my shoulder and gives me a gentle squeeze and walks towards the gym. My body is on fire. With just one touch, my mind is spinning in circles and I feel everything in my body tighten.

I stand there with my mouth dry and my heart beating out of my chest. I couldn’t even say hi to him. This is ridiculous. I am twenty-one years old and can handle talking to an old friend. An old friend that I still love and fantasize about. Oh yeah, saying Hi should have been easy!

I make it to the café and order a soy caramel latte with an extra shot of espresso. I take a sip and wait for Erin at a table in the corner of the room. I play that scene over in my head and try to figure out what hell just happened. I’m beside myself and embarrass because I stood there like an idiot. Maybe he didn’t hate me and was trying to get back in my life?

“Girl stop thinking.”

My head jerks up and my bubbly best friend is dressed to impress with her skinny jeans, black knee high boots and a sweater. “Hi to you too sunshine.”

She takes my latte and sits down. “Yeah yeah. Alright what’s going on?”

I give her my death stare as she drinks my latte. “Nothing! I wanted to see you and catch up.” I want to tell her more about Adam but it feels weird to talk about him.

“Bullshit.” She rolls her eyes at me. “I know something’s up with you so tell me.”

I sigh. I knew she wouldn’t let this go and get me to talk. “Alright so remember Adam right?”

“Yeah hot Adam Simpson.” My body tenses again when she says his name.

“I can’t stop thinking about him Erin. I dream about him at night and freeze every time he’s near me. I can’t focus at all and ugh!” I sigh as think about all of this. Why was this so hard? “And get this? He was walking behind me earlier and said “hey Soph.” I almost died!”

Erin slaps my arm and nearly falls out of her chair. “What the hell did you say back to him?”

I look away from her, “nothing,” I mumble.

“Huh? Talk louder,” she enunciates her words.

“Nothing!” I shriek and then put my hands over my face to hide my humiliation.

Erin bursts out laughing. “You said nothing? Oh my god Soph.”

“Yes please laugh at me because that makes me feel so much better!”

She takes my hand and looks at me. “Honey, I love you so much but you’re a riot. Why do I feel like something else is going on with you?” She looks at me with question in her eyes. I looked away from her. “Oh no Sophia! Tell me what’s going on!”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t know if I wanna be with Kyle anymore. Things suck right now. All we do is fight and he’s an asshole.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “I don’t know Erin. I mean we fight a lot and he gets mad when I don’t wanna go out. I like to stay away from the party scene and he hasn’t grown up, he is still a partier. He’s different behind closed doors when we’re alone.”

“Aww Soph I’m sorry. Have you tried talking to him?”

“No.” I look down at my hands. “He doesn’t like to talk about anything.”

Erin gets up and walks over to me. She sits down again and looks me in the eyes. “I want you to be happy Soph because you deserve nothing but the best. If you are feeling shitty with Kyle then leave him. If you want Adam make sure you’re done with Kyle. You gotta do you babe.”

I look at my best friend and think about what to do next.

**Comments from the author, S. Moose:  Thank you for your time! This was fun and I am glad to have met you and the other Goddesses! Also, I love meeting my fans so feel free to email me and send me a message on Facebook or Twitter!

**Contact the author:  Website   Facebook   Twitter   Email: smoose@0609@yahoo.com

Filed Under: Reaching Out For You, S.Moose Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Chick-Lit, Guest Interview, Reaching Out For You, S.Moose, Writing

Zanna Mackenzie

May 10, 2013 9 Comments

HowDoYouSpellLoveCoverPic

About author, Zanna Mackenzie:  Zanna Mackenzie lives in the East Midlands in the UK with her husband, 4 dogs, a vegetable patch that’s home to far too many weeds and an ever expanding library of books waiting to be read.

Being a freelance writer and editor of business publications is her ‘day job’ but, at every opportunity, she can be found scribbling down notes on scenes for whatever novel she’s working on. She loves it when the characters in her novels take on minds of their own and start deviating from the original plot!

Formerly a travel agent and therapist (she has qualifications in clinical aromatherapy, crystal healing, naturopathic nutrition and herbalism) she loves walking the dogs and gardening – that’s when she’s not writing or reading!

INTERVIEW

How would you describe your writing style?  Mostly light hearted; comedy and romance in a modern style.

People would be surprised to know that you…:  Ooohhh… I don’t know! Erm, let me think. How about, that I’m a meteorology geek! I’ve always been fascinated by weather and weather forecasting. When I was about ten I had a proper Stevenson screen (a white box to house equipment and keep direct sun off it) and took detailed temperature, humidity, rainfall, barometric readings every day. These days I have an electronic mini weather station in the garden which automatically transmits temperature (current, plus max and min) humidity, air pressure etc to a small display device in the kitchen. It’s brill!

Writing makes you feel…:  Complete. I feel that it’s what I’m meant to do. If my day job keeps me away from writing for too long I get fidgety and desperate to get back to my current writing project.

What is your most prized possession?  Books. Lots of them! Oh, and a very tatty teddy bear that I was given when I was born by my parents. He’s very much worse for wear these days but then he is getting on a bit in bear years!!

Walk us through your writing process?  An idea out of nowhere, develop the plot outline, create characters with detailed bios, work more on the plot, filling in the details, ensuring that there is always something happening in the story, lots of plot points. Type up scene outlines in correct order, then start filling in the gaps. Ideas for scenes and dialogue pop into my head at all times of the day and night so I always have a notebook to hand, jot the details down, then type them up when I get chance. I would say most of my ‘creative’ writing goes on in my head all the time, rather than saying it is when I sit in front of a computer and do that side of things. If I’m on the computer then mostly I’m typing up stuff from my notebook rather than actually ‘writing’. After the first full draft of the book, the editing begins and goes on and on and on!

Hard/paperbacks or eBooks?  I would say paperbacks. I do have Kindle on my PC but I don’t have a proper portable Kindle, I’m still resisting that at the moment. I’m a bit of a traditionalist I guess and still prefer a ‘proper real’ book where possible rather than a virtual one.

Are any of your characters based upon people you know?  No. They just evolve in my head. I have an idea of the type of person I want for my book, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and this shapes them the most. Then I choose a zodiac/star sign which suits them (for this I always use a great book written specially for writers creating characters and wanting personality info for star signs) and this shapes them a bit more. Then I ‘interview’ the characters about their car, home, clothes, family, education etc and eventually end up with a full bio for each character – it’s great fun!

What are you reading right now?  Two books. An old book by Christina Jones called Stealing The Show, and Salmon Fishing In The Yemen by Paul Torday. I recently saw the film of this book and loved it so I thought I’d now read the book.

Who or what inspires you?  I don’t know! Ideas just hit me out of everywhere and nowhere!

How has the social media helped your career?  I confess I’m not a big social media person so I only got into all that side of things for my writing. Since I got my two publishing deals though I have found Facebook to be invaluable. I’m in several closed author groups and everyone helps each other out with promotions on blogs, advice, plot feedback, support and encouragement. It’s been great.

If you could say something to your favorite author what would it be?  I love your books!

Can you tell us about any of your upcoming projects?  I number my books as it is then easier for me to keep track, so my current works in progress (WIP) are books 4 and 5. Book 4 is written and is now at editing stage. It’s a contemporary romance set in Derbyshire’s Peak District and centres on the inhabitants of a village which is a mecca for extreme sports enthusiasts. The main characters are Faith who owns and runs a coffee shop in the village, and Zane who co-owns an outdoor sports centre with business partner Matt. It’s about the complex and developing relationships for each of them. Book 5 has a scene outline of about 40,000 words in place and I now need to go back through it and ‘fill in the gaps’ adding in the detail. It is set in Scotland and London and is about the negative side of fame and how it impacts on relationships.

BOOK FEATURE

HowDoYouSpellLoveCoverPic**Blurb of “How Do You Spell Love”:

Make A Wish…

Kat can’t help wishing there was more to life than this. What happened to her dream job? What happened with Nathan?

Summer is wondering where her life is going too… battling the developers of a controversial housing estate and working out why boyfriend Rob is increasingly distant.

When the developers win the battle and move into town everyone’s life is turned upside down.

Kat meets building site project manager Alex. She enjoys his company far too much, even though he’s on the town’s most hated list.

Summer meets Tom who has plenty of relationship troubles of his own, so things could get really complicated.

Soon everyone is keeping secrets, lives change and hearts are broken. Is everything falling apart, or does life just work in mysterious ways…

CHAPTER 1

Kat pushed the last of the cottage cheese and shrimp sandwiches into the cool box and slammed the van door shut. As if her life wasn’t enough of a disaster zone as it was – no money, lousy job, losing Nathan, having to move back home to live with her parents – now this had to go and happen.

Cringing as a van full of builders stopped at the nearby traffic lights, Kat braced herself for the inevitable. After the standard-issue wolf whistles had drifted across from their van, next came the leered, “Wouldn’t argue with that, love!” as one of them nodded towards her sparkling clean van, parked neatly at the curb. The words “A Bit of Crumpet on the Road” emblazoned down the side in deep purple, glittery lettering. Not for the first time Kat cursed her boss Janice for calling her bakery-cum-deli that name.

Kat sighed, well it certainly drew comments from the public and from their customers, not always welcome ones, but as Janice was always keen to point out, any kind of publicity and attention was, in her eyes, good publicity and attention.

Pulling her navy and white striped apron more tightly around her T-shirt and shorts, Kat ignored the builders and climbed into her van to begin that morning’s deliveries. As she indicated to pull out into the busy street in Luisborough, she mulled over the bad news – that she was to add the controversial Netherton Meadows housing development to her daily sandwich round.

Netherton Meadows. Yippee. If Summer found out, she’d surely be ostracised for fraternising with the environmental enemy. This was a development that pretty much everyone in Luisborough had fought against for getting on towards a year. It had been the focus of STW campaigns. It went against everything that Kat believed in environmental-wise. Everyone hated the Netherton Meadows developers. Except, it seemed, Janice, who was perfectly happy to, in her words, ‘supply yummy builders with yummy sandwiches.’

Lost in thought, Kat just managed to spot the approaching traffic lights had turned to red and hastily slammed a foot on the brake. The van lurched to a halt and several boxes of crisps and one of the cool boxes in the back tipped over. It was shaping up to be one of those days.

Two hours later Kat had visited all her usual drops, was extremely hot and bothered, and could put off going to Netherton Meadows no longer.

Driving through the assorted vans, machinery and portacabins Kat parked next to a building marked as being the Site Office and hit the button on the dashboard. Tinkling chimes filled the air as Kat climbed from the driver’s seat and made to open the back doors of the vehicle. It was embarrassing enough that the van had the company name in large lettering along its side but, just to make sure that it received maximum exposure – and achieved maximum embarrassment – Janice had had some irritating chimes fitted to the vehicle too. Kat was under strict instructions to sound the chimes when she called at all of the sites where people came out to the van; such as they were about to at Netherton Meadows.

A man came down the steps of the office with a grin on his face and walked towards her. “Hi, you must be Kat.” He wedged a clipboard under his left arm and offered a hand to shake. “I’m Alex. Project manager for the site.”

“Hi,” mumbled Kat, spotting a group of hard-hat-clad builders advancing towards her with hungry expressions on their faces.

“Right, lads,” Alex turned towards the men. “This is Kat and she’s very kindly agreed to venture onto this site to bring you all your lunch. Don’t give her any hassle, OK?”

The men laughed and then nodded. “Sure, Alex. You’re the boss.”

Fifteen minutes later it seemed that all of the team at the development had made their sandwich, crisp and drink selections and sloped off to devour them in the sunshine. Only one of the builders, a portly man who must have been twenty years Kat’s senior, had pushed the boundaries a little, despite Alex’s earlier warning. As he’d selected a smoked salmon and cream cheese roll – a choice that had surprised Kat somewhat, having pegged him as a ham and cheese kind of guy – he’d asked Kat if she’d fancy joining him for a drink sometime. She’d politely declined his offer, saying that she had a boyfriend. No need to tell him that, technically, she and Nathan were no longer an item. No need to tell him why either.

**Contact Zanna!:  Zanna Mackenzie   Zanna Mackenzie – Blogspot   Facebook   Goodreads   Twitter

Filed Under: Isabella Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Chick-Lit, Guest Interview, How Do You Spell Love, Zanna Mackenzie

Tall, Dark and Kilted

May 9, 2013 32 Comments

TallDarkandKilted

Book Blurb of “Tall, Dark and Kilted”

Fliss Bagshawe longs for a passport out of Pimlico where she works as a holistic therapist. After attending a party in Notting Hill she loses her job and with it the dream of being her own boss. She’s offered the chance to take over a failing therapy centre, but there’s a catch. The centre lies five hundred miles north in Wester Ross, Scotland.

Fliss’s romantic view of the highlands populated by Men in Kilts is shattered when she has an upclose and personal encounter with the Laird of Kinloch Mara, Ruairi Urquhart. He’s determined to pull the plug on the business, bring his eccentric family to heel and eject undesirables from his estate – starting with Fliss. Facing the dole queue once more Fliss resolves to make sexy, infuriating Ruairi revise his unflattering opinion of her, turn the therapy centre around and sort out his dysfunctional family.

Can Fliss tame the Monarch of the Glen and find the happiness she deserves? Read Tall, Dark and Kilted and find out !

Chapter One

The music hit Fliss as she rounded the corner of Elgin Crescent, Notting Hill. The sugared almond pink and yellow houses were almost vibrating in the late May evening as I Predict a Riot blasted out from an open window half way down the street. Her stomach flipped over with a mixture of excitement and nerves as she acknowledged the Kaiser Chiefs were bang on message.

It was going to be that kind of night. That kind of party.

She gazed wide-eyed at the grand houses and the expensive cars parked in front of them. It wasn’t every day she was invited to this exclusive postcode. In fact, she was more likely to be found passively inhaling her friends’ cigarette smoke over shared laughter, gossip and Mojitos outside her favourite pub in Pimlico than hanging with the Notting Hill set.

But, tonight was different. If she read Isla Urquhart’s invitation correctly, she was about to be made an offer she couldn’t refuse. One which would whisk her away from her poorly paid job at Pimlico Pamperers therapy centre and propel her towards . . . well, if not stardom exactly, then something more promising than the long hours and low wages which were currently her lot.

She drew near the Urquharts’ house where Isla was holding court at the top of the stone steps. Ranged below her on the pavement were two Police Community Support Officers and a group of angry neighbours. The butterflies, which had been performing loop the loops in her stomach all the way up from the station, slipped on black opaque tights and hard shoes and broke into Riverdance.

‘We won’t ask you again Miss, turn that music down.’

Isla insolently flicked cigarette ash in the PCSO’s direction, but in spite of her defiant stance she looked openly relieved to see Fliss coming along the street. ‘You tell them Fliss. They won’t listen to me.’

‘Tell them what exactly?’ Sensing a Mexican standoff developing, Fliss readied herself to push through the cordon of police and neighbours, bundle Isla indoors and get down to the serious matter of discussing the proposal Isla had mentioned a couple of days earlier.

‘About Mumma – Being – In – India.’ Isla enunciated slowly, putting an exaggerated stress on each word.

Quickly realising what was required of her, Fliss said smoothly, ‘She’s at an ashram in India, officer – Jaipur to be precise – having her chakras freed. Won’t be home for weeks. Would you like the number?’ With all the aplomb of an Oscar winning actress she slipped easily into role, scrolling through her mobile phone and then pausing. ‘But, with the time difference and various treatments I really can’t see her coming to the phone.’

Clearly, she’d said the right thing because she was summoned to stand on the top step. And for a moment she felt chosen, special and it didn’t seem to matter that she was a poorly paid holistic therapist and Isla a Notting Hill trustafarian with money to burn. They were friends, in this together and that’s all that mattered.

‘She’s probably posted a notice on Facebook. The Crescent will be swamped with rioters and the gardens trashed by hoodies,’ one neighbour persisted, clearly underwhelmed by the PCSO’s performance.

At that moment, the Ministry of Sound medley blaring through the open window ended and a blissful silence descended on Elgin Crescent. Everyone drew breath, the policemen and neighbours made as if to walk away – then the music resumed and Johnny Rotten informed everyone he was an anarchist.

This, apparently, was a groove too far for Isla’s neighbour.

‘That’s it; I’m calling your brother . . .’

For a moment, Isla’s poise wavered and the colour drained from her cheeks. Fliss wondered what kind of man had the power to dent the thick armour of her self-belief where a visit from the police had no effect. But she wasn’t allowed time for further reflection because Isla was back with a vengeance.

‘Ruairi’s too busy to bother himself with the likes of you. Anyway, chillax – we’re moving into the communal gardens.’ She waved a queenly hand at them.

‘Those gardens are for residents!’ a second neighbour spluttered.

‘And the Urquharts have lived here longer than any of you,’ she said, looking down her aristocratic nose at them. The police officers exchanged a let’s-get-this-over-with look and moved in.

‘Right. That’s enough! You,’ the elder officer addressed Fliss, ‘take her indoors. Close the window and turn down the music. Or this party will be over quicker than you can say: injunction.’

Seizing the Get Out of Jail Free card, Fliss dragged Isla over the threshold and slammed the front door behind her. She stood with her back pressed against its reassuring solidity as Isla, predictably without a word of thanks, sauntered off towards the back of the house where – judging by the noise, the party was in full swing.

At that moment, Fliss remembered her best friend and fellow therapist at Pimlico Pamperers had nicknamed Isla and her sister Cat: The Spawn of Satan, and resolved to proceed with caution. Longing for a quiet place to marshal her thoughts and make some sense of why she’d been invited here tonight, Fliss made her way towards the cloakroom.

As she did so, the motto on a t-shirt she’d seen at Camden Locks Market flashed into mind: If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. Maybe that was the point of her being here – to determine if she was poodle or Rottweiler; worthy of inclusion in Isla’s posse, or not. She knew Isla collected friends irrespective of class or upbringing, provided they were amusing – or, as she suspected was more likely in her case – could be of use to her.

Although just what service she could render the honourable Miss Isla Urquhart wasn’t immediately obvious.

She tried to shake off the feeling of disquiet, of being out of her comfort zone that accompanied her along the shadowy hallway. How could she fit into Cat and Isla’s world? They had a trust fund to smooth their path and make life pleasant, whereas all she had to look forward to for the next forty years was work, work, and more work.

The very thought made her head ache.

But just for tonight, she was going to allow herself to imagine what might happen if Fate – maybe in the unlikely form of Isla Urquhart – intervened and sent some good karma her way. She pulled a face and took a reality check – there was little hope of that happening. Hard work would get her out of her rented flat in Pimlico; not Fate, karma or a knight in shining Armani. And, for the record, knights in armour – designer or otherwise – had been thin on the ground of late.

She headed towards a door screened by a thick curtain embroidered with appliquéd elephants and tiny, tarnished silver mirrors. She tried the door, but it was locked. One of Isla’s friends was probably in there snorting illegal substances, she thought annoyed, while she was standing cross-legged, desperate to use the loo. She gave the door a kick and rapped on it with her knuckles in an attempt to hurry up the occupant.

‘Give us a minute, will ya?’ came back a voice that was more Chelmsford than Chelsea.

This was followed by a thump, the sound of breaking glass and hyena-like laughter. The key turned, the curtain was pulled back and peering round the door with a broken mirror in her hand and looking guilty as hell, was her best friend Becky Casterton.

LizzieLamb2**Contact Lizzie:  Website   Blog   Facebook – Lizzie Lamb   Facebook – New Romantics   Twitter – Lizzie Lamb   Twitter – The New Romantics 4

**Click HERE to buy “Tall, Dark and Kilted”!

**Additional comments by Lizzie:  After an inspiring talk by a well published author I decided to form my own publishing group The New Romantics 4 with three other writers and we self published our books autumn 2012. It’s been hard work but we’ve never looked back. Read more about us and our route to publication on our blog (above).

BongoManinKiltHere’s a picture of Lizzy’s husband wearing a kilt and holding her book!

Filed Under: Tall, Dark and Kilted Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Chick-Lit, Dark and Kilted, Lizzie Lamb, Tark, Writers

BOOK FEATURE: LOOKING FOR LA LA

April 11, 2013 1 Comment

LookingforLa LaCoverPic

“Looking for La La” by Ellie Campbell

Blurb:  In a recent survey 65% of mothers admitted feeling undervalued, over-criticised and constantly tired.

Cathy is no exception. Her dull, uneventful days as a stay at home, mother of two, are radically transformed however with the arrival of a heavily lipsticked postcard addressed to husband, Declan. Who is the mysterious La La? Could Declan really be having an affair? And is Cathy actually being stalked?

Whatever – it will definitely prove riveting gossip for the Tuesday Twice Monthlies, Cathy’s ‘Mothers Restaurant Research’ group where scandal flows as recklessly as the wine. But what starts as a light-hearted investigation with best friend Raz, soon turns into something much more sinister.

With a possible murderer on the scene, a sexy admirer igniting long-forgotten sparks, and all her friends hiding secrets, it’s not only Cathy’s marriage that’s in jeopardy. Add in the scheming antics of Declan’s new assistant, the stress of organising the school Save The Toilet’s dance and the stage is set for a dangerous showdown and some very unsettling, possibly deadly, revelations.

***

Looking for La La, Chapter 1

Not a sound is heard as it lands silently on the mat. No drums rolls, crashing thunder, shafts of light. The walls don’t start crumbling, the ground doesn’t vibrate with terrifying tremors and a yawning fissure fails to zigzag across the kitchen floor and separate my husband from his breakfast marmalade.

In short, I’ve no clue as to the impact it’ll have on our lives. Mayhem. Marital breakdown. Murder. It should at least have been written in blood or come in the beak of a dark-winged raven.

It is a postcard. “Love from London” blazoned above a giant pair of pouting lips kissing a cherry-red heart.

At first sight it appears to be one of those “Please Come to Our Rave” flyers which get thrust through my door periodically. Now the chances of me, a world-weary, put-upon mother-of-two, going to a rave are slim to none, but heck it’s nice to be invited.

I turn it over.

Dearest, sweetest Declan – it begins. My eyes widen as I take in the blue spidery handwriting and race to the signature. ‘Love from La La.’

A tiny blip courses through me as I beetle down the hall attempting to identify the exact emotion I’m feeling.

Jealousy?

No.

Anger?

Nah.

It’s – I recognise it now – excitement. A blip of excitement forcing its merry way around my clogged up veins.

‘Postcard for you,’ I say nonchalantly, opening the door and stepping back into the kitchen, ‘from La La.’

I had a blip when I first spotted Declan at Bubbles, a dingy disco located east of the pier in downtown Bognor Regis. It was Sandra Mason’s leaving work party and I was nineteen years old. Sandra was tear-stained and puffy faced – partly from drink, partly emotion and partly because she always had a fairly puffy face. We’d given her a pretty good send off, bought her sexy underwear and filled an enormous padded card with witty farewells and humorous poems, all of them sounding a whole bunch better than my lowly “To Sandra, All best – Cath”.

The fifth yawn of the evening had just wormed its way out of my mouth corner, when I spied Declan dancing under a glassy mirror ball, had the blip and knew immediately we were destined to become involved. I wasn’t sure how. Perhaps he’d introduce me to a mate or better-looking brother. Not that he repelled me exactly, but spiky ginger hair had never been top of my “must haves” and the way he was swinging those hips in perfect rhythm with a blonde nymphet, well, they looked set for life. In and out they gyrated to Unchained Melody, his large hands caressing her tanned shoulder blades. I found out much later she was his long-term girlfriend, Lucy. Juicy Lucy, I labelled her. Not very original maybe but it inevitably served its purpose of getting right up Declan’s nose.

They made quite a couple. Lucy laughing, licking her glossy lips, and my future spouse leering lovingly at her, beads of sweat running down his freckled brow. I was entranced for a good few seconds before being beckoned back to earth by Sandra, who wanted an all-embracing photo of the girls from Credit Control. So, blocking out the blip, I pasted on a wide cheesy grin and darted across the room.

Declan?’

He sits motionless, his knife suspended in the Flora margarine, blue eyes gazing into the far distance, as he listens to a heated political debate on Radio 4.

‘Postcard, darling, from La La.’ I raise my voice, aware it’ll take a more urgent tone to break that level of concentration. Either that or blasting out the latest match score. Arsenal 0 – Manchester City 2. He reminds me at times of De Niro in Awakenings, forever trapped in a catatonic state. I often wonder if I throw a ball at him whether he’d whirl round in his chair and catch it in one swift movement.

‘What?’ He finally looks up, granary toast perilously close to his open mouth. ‘Not more bills, surely?’

‘La La,’ I repeat, handing the postcard to him.

‘Who the hell’s La La?’

‘Sounds like a telly tubby,’ I return to my half-eaten boiled egg, disguising my curiosity. ‘Not sure which colour though? Ask Josh and Sophie about it tonight.’

Our two children have been despatched to school by Henrietta, a fellow mum. A ruse we’d come up with so we could have “quality” time with our husbands on alternate mornings. Knowing Henrietta she’ll be using her time to bonk Neil senseless. Me – I just aimed for a halfway decent conversation and constantly missed.

He’s silently reading.

‘What does it say?’ I add a pinch of salt to the last millimetre of yolk. Declan hates that I add salt to food, wants it banned from the house, which makes it all the more decadent and delicious.

He fishes in the drawer for his wire-framed reading glasses, perches them on the end of his nose, in a way that hides his boyish face and makes him look nearer fifty than his “recently passed forty-two”.

He clears his throat. ‘‘Dearest, sweetest Declan, I long to have you in my arms again. Ever yours.” A tinge of colour slowly works its way up his cheeks. ‘And there’s a “Love from La La” at the bottom. Well, how about that?’ He starts pacing the floor, a puzzled frown etched on his forehead.

‘So who do you think sent it?’ I ask eagerly.

‘No idea.’ The postcard’s placed on the worktop. ‘Practical joke, I guess.’

Forlornly I tackle the stack of plates lying accusingly in the sink.

‘I seriously need a dishwasher,’ I mutter, squeezing a generous helping of Fairy liquid onto a brown, greasy stain. ‘Everyone’s got one, even Patience Preston.’

Patience, mate of my closest friend, Raz, lives on her own in an immaculate flat.

‘Hmm.’

‘All she uses her fridge for is to chill vodka. Not a scrap of food’s ever marred its spotlessness.’

‘Hmmm.’

Sometimes my conversations went totally one way.

‘She skips breakfast, buys herself wraps lunchtime and eats out each evening. And yet she owns a dishwasher. All I’ve got is an empty space waiting to be filled.’

‘Patience can probably afford a dishwasher,’ he says slowly. ‘Because she has a job.’

My hackles raise a notch. ‘Ah, but she doesn’t have children to chase after all day, does she?’

‘And nor do you. Now they’re both at school till four.’

Another few notches of hackles are raised. ‘Half three actually. And I have to leave ages before that to pick them up.’ Rather than tromp through a well-planted minefield I decide to divert. ‘Did you know Patience’s mum owns a microphone once licked by Tom Jones?’ Occasionally a little falsehood helped deflect the shrapnel.

It works, momentarily. ‘Why on earth does Tom Jones go around licking microphones?’

‘Dunno, maybe someone threw their knickers at it and knocked it into his mouth.’

He raises his eyebrow a fraction. ‘Anyhow a dishwasher’s not exactly a priority, is it? What with the roof space that needs lagging, windows needing replacing, boiler about to blow. Where the money’s coming from, I don’t know. My pockets aren’t…’

His diatribe’s thankfully interrupted by his ringing mobile. It’s in his hand faster than Wyatt Earp with a smoking gun.

‘Hi. Mm. Sure, sure. Sounds good. When? Ha, ha, ha. Have you asked Jessica-Ellen? Uh huh. Uh huh. Cathy? Nah she’s cool. ’Course. Eight p.m. it is.’

‘Eight p.m. it is,’ I echo under my breath as I scrub furiously at last night’s saucepan.

‘So,’ his voice is casual as he slips his phone into his pocket. ‘Wonder who sent it then?’

‘Maybe someone at work fancies you.’ My chortle halts abruptly when I turn and catch his expression. He’s not been in the mood for jokes lately, his sense of humour apparently absconding the morning of his fortieth birthday.

Besides he knows he’s attractive. I made the mistake of telling him he was voted “Body of the Year” by the Tuesday Twice-Monthlies – the Restaurant Research Group I attend each fortnight. Henrietta likens him to a ginger Nicholas Cage with his high cheekbones and well-defined eyebrows. Raz adores his muscley arms, “sex on elbows” she calls them. And everyone everywhere tells me how lucky I was in nabbing him. As if I was a total pleb who lured him with some secret charm they could never quite see in me. I want to rage at them all, ‘I was the one “nabbed” sisters. I was the one “bloody nabbed”.’ Of course being a coward, I never do.

He turns the card over. ‘If that were true, you’d think they’d pop it in my pigeonhole rather than send it to my home, wouldn’t you?’ He drops his cup into my washing up bowl. ‘Right, I’m off.’

I wipe my hands on my dressing gown as I follow him down the hall.

‘You couldn’t just take my watch to be repaired? On the bedside cabinet.’ He retrieves his umbrella from the pot by the door.

‘Sure, honey babe.’ I stand on tiptoes to tweak his tie.

‘Oh and my black boots need soles.’

‘Consider it done.’

‘And do get the kids to clear up those toys in the back garden.’ His face takes on a pained expression, strange love cards already dismissed. ‘Neighbours must wonder who they’re living next to.’

‘I’m on to it.’ I resist the urge to snap into a salute.

Pathetic, isn’t it? These seem to be our new roles in life. Declan barking orders, me acting the subservient housewife. Usually I’m not so wimpish but since Josh started school six months back, I realise I’m on extremely shaky ground even if it looks like the same old floor tiles. Casual mentions of spiralling debts, sharing the load or even carrying it for a change have been accumulating faster than Victoria Beckham’s Hermes handbag collection.

Too bad that as the bickering increases so does my morbid fear of rejoining the workforce. Once lodged comfortably at the back of my mind, like a suspicion of woodworm you’ll get around to dealing with later, it’s morphed to become a monstrous bugbear between us.

Rattle of keys. He’s already mentally in his office as he pecks me on the cheek. Smack of suit pocket to check for his wallet, quick comb of the hair to confirm it’s up to R A Wilson Inc standards, and he departs for work. I wave serenely on the doorstep before dashing back inside to put on Coral Duster’s Greatest Hits.

As Coral’s dulcet tones wash over me, I head for the phone.

‘Urgent sturgent! Urgent sturgent!’ I can’t disguise the thrill in my voice. Me with news? Something unexpected from the Cathy O’Farrell home front. I move aside Declan’s raincoat and Sophie’s puffa jacket, rub a hole in the dusty oval mirror and glance at my reflection. My eyes are so alive they’re practically dancing. The whites are whiter than I’ve seen for ages, the iris a more attractive shade of green and my pupils have almost doubled. Even my hair, though badly in need of brushing, seems to have a few extra auburn glints.

‘What’s up?’ Raz says excitedly.

I knew she’d be all ears. I don’t call her “Nose-ache Nora” for no reason. Her name’s really Rosa. Rosa Alison Zimmerman, but Raz was a pet name one of her ex’s gave her and it had kind of stuck.

We met in the toilet of Johnson & Phillips Surveyors, both escaping for a clandestine ciggy and to get away from the oppressive atmosphere of the miserable men with their clacking rulers. During our regular smoke-outs we found we had much in common, i.e. sneaking off for two-hour lunches and rating the hotness factor of every guy we ran into. That was fifteen long years ago. We’d lived together, loved and lost together. We know each other better than we know ourselves.

She listens quietly, as I spurt it out in a waterfall of words. ‘You think this postcard could be serious?’ she says finally.

‘Nah,’ I giggle. Even my lips have a bee-stung feel about them. ‘It’s just somebody winding him up.’

‘Sure about that?’ Her imagination virtually scales the same heights as mine, except she’s got minor sanity in her life – an office, desk, own direct line and, best of all, colleagues.

Colleagues. Thing I miss most about working. Especially male colleagues that I can banter with, groan at their silly jokes and amaze with clever solutions to their insurmountable problems. ‘By gad you’ve got it, Cath!’ They’d exclaim in awe. ‘We’ve been struggling with that one ages’ and I’d reply, ‘No worries, lads,’ and feel their admiring eyes on my bottom as they watched me leave.

Only that was before my bottom sagged to resemble Dumbo’s and my pre-children brain cells were sparkling crystals, free from today’s pea souper fog. Nowadays the only thing I could bring to the conference table would be the tea trolley.

Raz and I are both silent. I’m thinking about Declan and his endless meetings and oh-so-vital budget reports. Could he really sweep them all aside for unbridled, illicit sex? Raz, from the sound of things, is drawing on her first fag of the morning. I can almost smell the sweet aroma.

‘You’re obviously really really worried about it,’ she adds. ‘So…’

‘I’m not really really worried about it,’ I say, starting immediately to really really worry.

‘I’m on my way.’

The sound of creaking and clopping, platform shoes on wooden stairs, reverberates throughout the house.

Looking for La La, Chapter 2

It had been my great good fortune that two months ago Raz found out Jerry, her live-in lover, was a secret druggie. She kept discovering rolled up balls of silver foil near the base of the toilet and could never understand where they came from. She rang me one night about it.

‘Silver foil…toilet base…hang on a sec. Look, now don’t take this badly but,’ I drew in a deep breath. ‘Do you remember when you were shacked up with Pete and I was stuck on my own in that grotty Kilburn bedsit?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘And do you remember what I found…in the back of the oven?’

‘Yes. Oh God. God.’

‘Now listen, Raz, I want you to stay calm. Just think,’ I said the words slowly to emphasise the seriousness of the situation. ‘Have…you…checked…the tea-towels?’

‘I can’t!’ she shrieked. ‘I can’t have a bloody rat living in my oven!’

‘You bet you can.’ I mean why not her? Happened to me after all.

The tartan tea-towels had been the first thing I noticed. Ragged at the best of times, they were becoming holier by the day. Eventually one night I followed a scratching sound and there in the dark of the kitchen a small brown head popped up from under a hot plate. I looked again and he was gone but pulling back the oven moments later, there I found him – a ruddy great rat sitting wide-eyed and somewhat guilty in a tartan nest.

‘But surely silver foil isn’t that comfortable?’ Raz said bemused.

‘Might be for insulation. Rats are extremely intelligent. Now deep breaths. I’ll stay at the end of the phone. You go look.’

‘Right.’

She came back moments later.

‘It’s OK,’ she said relieved. ‘Tea-towels are all there, there’s no droppings and besides, we’ve one of those halogen hobs.’

Days later Raz discovered Jerry was heavily into the old Charlie – and I’m not talking Sheen – (but could be). It was enough for her to retreat back to her parents’ home. ‘Thank Christ I found out before we moved into the new flat,’ she’d confided as I joined her in a spot of retail therapy. ‘He’d have stayed forever, burning a hole in his nose and my pocket at the same time.’

‘True.’ I’d replied, peeling off yet another pair of Calvin Klein jeans I could barely manoeuvre into, let alone afford.

‘But on the other hand I don’t think I can stand staying with mum and dad until the renovation’s done,’ she continued, buttoning up an immaculately-fitting black Jaeger jacket. ‘I’m already getting jaw-ache from grinding my teeth at night. I’ll have to rent. Only all the landlords want a year’s bloody contract.’

‘Too bad,’ I’d sympathised, whilst inwardly formulating a cunning plan.

That evening I whisked her off to Café Rouge, got her tanked up and persuaded her to move into our loft extension. ‘Just until your builders finish.’

‘But you’re married now,’ she slurred, over her fourth glass of Frascati. ‘I don’t want to be a big fat gooseberry.’

I glanced at her across the table, chasing her crab cakes around her plate with a fish fork. Willowy and beautiful with her delicate bone structure and slim but shapely figure. No big fatty thing about her anywhere. Not like me. Two sizes too wide, two inches too short, orange peel thighs and a large layer of belly blubber.

No, Raz’s different. Everyone loves her with her famous zigzag parting, her shoulder-length stylishly-streaked blonde hair dropping down just a hint over her right eye. She has a certain sexiness in her gravelly voice, a confidence in her manner and a way with people that both intrigues and attracts them.

‘You won’t be. What’s more,’ I added encouragingly. ‘It’ll dilute Declan, help with the mortgage and,’ my eyes sparkled with anticipation, ‘we might have fun. Thirty quid per week.’ I quickly chinked my glass against hers to cement the deal.

After another carafe of wine, she agreed, with the proviso that she pay us eighty, wouldn’t be expected to baby-sit and I’d have to knock if I wanted to enter her private quarters. You always knew where you stood with Raz. ‘Oh and,’ she added, ‘we’ll need space for our own friends.’

‘Fine! Fine! Anything you say,’ I squealed with delight and just managed to refrain from running around the restaurant clicking my heels.

I’ve got to admit living with Raz and my family is a whole lot different to when it was just the two of us sharing years before in various short-term lets. Back then not only was I young, energetic and could party ‘til dawn, but I could nip to the pub at the crook of a finger, vomit down the loo all night long and nobody’d blink an eye. My commitments added up to a big round zero. But now, having gone down the baby route, I’ve turned into this safety-conscious, back-of-the-queue sort of a gal while Raz has remained in the live wild, live dangerously phase.

Not forgetting that the “job” thing also stands between us. While my career, ranging from lowly filing clerk to secretary to PA slithered into oblivion at the birth of my offspring, Raz became a big cheese in the advertising world. She blossomed whereas I withered away, happily sacrificing my not-yet-glorious working life to nurture our children.

Anyway, she keeps assuring me that her “room at the top” suits her perfectly for now, although recently I’ve noticed that her phone calls to the team of builders called Trev and Kev and such are sounding increasingly hysterical, overshadowing the screeches of squabbling children and day-to-day quarrelling between Declan and myself. Builders being what they are and the finish date past weeks ago. I suppose for an ad executive she’s slumming it, although she does have her own bathroom, toilet and bed under the eaves. A little nest where she gathers together countless people. I should know because I’ve tried counting them, watching enviously as they troop up, bottles in hand. Unusual hairdos, curious fashions. I’ve even managed to join them a few times, to supper or the occasional brunch, where we’ll read the Sunday rags, drink bucks fizz and gobble up grapefruit sprinkled with Demerara sugar. And I’ll borrow some of Raz’s clothes, lie back on a beanbag and feel for a tiny while young and Bohemian, forgetting about Declan downstairs with the kids.

She arrives in the kitchen, notebook in one hand, half-finished cigarette in the other. I show her the postcard then perch expectantly on a stool.

‘I see.’ She studies it carefully before pinning it to the fridge with a magnetic Marge Simpson. ‘Well, I’m not going in ‘til later.’ She flicks the ash into the sink. ‘So,’ she ejects my Coral Duster CD, plugs her iPod into Declan’s docking station, and turns it on, ‘let’s get down to facts.’

Pumping music fills the air and I grin. We’re on a mission. Just like the old days in our shared studio when we’d jump on the other’s bed and shout, ‘Let’s hit Camden’ or ‘Let’s do the Thames’ or ‘Let’s phone that bloke that never rang you and blow raspberries at him.’ Happy times before I became a domestic prisoner.

‘We’ll make a suspects list.’ She looks thoughtful as she taps into her Blackberry. ‘A. La La’s someone Declan works with having a giggle. Someone with a lousy sense of humour?’

‘Definitely. They’re all rather geeky.’

‘B.’ She closes her eyes a moment. ‘La La’s a man!’

The hairs on my neck suddenly stand erect. ‘Gay lover?’

‘Hardly! Business rival maybe. Someone with a grudge.’

‘Grudge? Well probably loads of people hate him. He’s got funny habits, like the way he looks in the opposite direction when you’re attempting a conversation.’ I drum my fingers on the table.

‘C. Declan’s had or is having an affair. She begged him to leave you, but he told her no. Miffed, she sent the card hoping you’ll kick him out.’ She taps away while adding. ‘Totally off the wall, but we have to consider every possibility.’

‘Unlikely,’ I say dismissively. ‘If he started an affair I’d suss him out right away. He’d be all strange and psychologically different. Mooning at the moon, sighing heavily, listening to Leonard Cohen.’

‘You mean like you did when you had that secret tryst behind pervy Paul’s back.’

‘Yeah, well, he deserved it with that foot fetish. Can you imagine how cringey it is having your toenails idolised?’

‘So Declan’s not been acting differently in any way?’

‘We-ell,’ I pause to think. ‘He has been coming home later from work…and he’s just recently bought piles of starry-designed underwear and expensive aftershave.’

‘Anything else?’

‘Em, silly really,’ I hesitate. ‘But there’s been a surge of brightly-coloured ties these last few weeks, not the sort he usually wears. Snake-like patterns.’

‘Aha.’

‘And he -’ I lower my voice. ‘God I’m embarrassed to say, but he’s been wanting me to get up to all sorts of bedroom tricks. Almost as if he’s got this teacher, showing him the ropes. But hey, I don’t think they’re signs, do you?’

‘Cath,’ she rolls her eyes, ‘will you be serious for once? I mean it’s clearly a nonsense prank, but whoever sent it is playing a totally stupid and possibly dangerous game. What if you were the morbidly possessive type? Remember that idiot in the news a few months back who stabbed his girlfriend because he believed the rumours she was a prostitute.’

‘I know, I know.’ But for some mad reason I’m loving the drama. Maybe I should be getting all neurotic and jealous at the possibility of my husband of ten years finding a lover – alarm bells ringing, cue eerie music as Camera One closes in on my wedding ring – but, hey, this is fun. Perhaps it’s only that I’m stuck in a rut and clueless how to change things, but for one wild moment I want to fling everything routine from the highest rooftop. And then peer down, see how they’ve landed and go from there. Is that so very wrong?

‘Apart from working longer hours than ever before, there’s zilch to report.’

‘I mean, an affair. Ridiculous. He’s crazy about you.’ Raz smiles sympathetically, but continues tapping, an intense look plastered on her face.

I give a weary sigh. Perhaps I’m looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps the opportunity of swapping my plain cotton-rich M&S midi knickers for a scanty pair of Agent Provocateur briefs has finally become too much for Declan. I can’t help feeling a tinge of sympathy. After all, he’d no idea when he married his coquettish flirtatious young girlfriend what sort of dreary wife she’d turn into. Although, to be fair to myself, neither did I.

‘And D,’ she stubs out her ciggy. ‘Could be like fatal attraction. Insane woman, gunning for you.’

‘Gee, now that makes me feel heaps better,’ I gulp.

‘Well, like I said, they’re all just possibilities,’ she presses a few more buttons and the screen goes blank. ‘Probably turn out to be A. Cox’s?’ She throws me over an apple and takes one herself.

‘You know, Raz,’ I bite into mine, ‘this reminds me of the last mission we undertook – the frozen shoulder conspiracy.’

‘The one where you discovered people suffering from spasmodic shoulders had been infected with a strange Spanish virus?’ She bites into hers.

‘Yup, but the UK doctors were keeping mum because they were getting backhanders from pharmaceutical companies.’

‘Cathy,’ she smiles at me indulgently. ‘That was a dream, remember?’

‘Yeah, I know,’ I admit grudgingly. ‘But it was a really realistic one.’

She stands up and checks her watch. ‘Woops. Better go. Can you just sort my jacket?’

I retrieve the lint roller from the kitchen drawer and carefully remove Custard’s dog hairs from her back. She looks exceptionally smart, with a crisp cream blouse underneath her cotton flared trouser suit that matches to the precise shade, her violet-blue eyes. All ready for a hard day’s work with Younger and Wilding, top London Advertising Agency. And there’s me standing behind her, unshowered, clad in grubby dressing gown with one pocket and three buttons missing, shoulder-length hair secured with one of Sophie’s discarded Barbie baubles.

At thirty-four, she’s only four years younger than me, but at this nano-second in time, I feel like her old granny – the one you can shove off a bus.

‘You home tonight?’ I call after her as she heads off down the front path.

‘Not until late,’ she shouts back. ‘Seeing Patience up town. But I’ll google La La as soon as I get to work, see if she’s got a track record. And Cathy, if you think of anything, anything at all, call me right away. We’re going to get to the bottom of this if it kills us.’

I smile as I close the door and step back inside the house. I might not get paid a salary, my children might be speeding towards adulthood so fast we’ll be paying for Sophie’s wedding before I’ve even got her baby photos sorted, but now I have a purpose, a quest. I’m looking for La La.

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**GIVEAWAY**

Click HERE to enter to win a copy of LOOKING FOR LA LA!

**Buy Looking for La La on Amazon!

**Comments by Ellie Campbell:  We love all kinds of novels but particularly women’s fiction with a great story, recognizable characters and the ability to make us laugh one minute and perhaps cry the next.  We still share the same sense of humor that got us into so much trouble as kids and so it has been fun writing books that allow us to enjoy the comic aspects of everyday life while still exploring some serious issues and indulging in our taste for romance, drama, and intrigue.   If our imperfect heroines are often older than the average chick-lit character, and as likely to be bogged down with marriage,  troublesome husbands and child-rearing as fretting over that perfect pair of designer shoes, we are still immensely proud to be considered part of the same genre that includes such talented writers as Marian Keyes and Jane Green.

**Contact Ellie Campbell:

Email: chicklitsisters@gmail.com   Chicklit Sisters   Facebook   Twitter

**Come back tomorrow to read an interview with Ellie Campbell!

Filed Under: Looking for La La Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Ellie Campbell, Looking for La La

BOOK FEATURE: IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

April 5, 2013 3 Comments

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“Is This All There Is” by Patricia Mann

Blurb:  Beth Thomas has the perfect life.  At thirty-five, she’s married to her college sweetheart, has two adorable kids, and teaches part time at the local university.  But when a friend persuades Beth to go dancing on a rare night out, a chance meeting with twenty one year old Dave, one of her former students, changes the course of her life.  Loud music, too much to drink, and the thrill of feeling young again lead to an unforgettable kiss that was never supposed to happen.  As she tries to put the memory behind her, Dave’s pursuit leaves Beth torn between what her mind says is right and what her heart and body crave.

Chapter 1 (tease)

He leaned in close and without thinking I started to move my lips toward his.  His warm Colgate breath crept up my nose as he kissed the top of Jack’s head.  Then he was standing again, brushing a piece of lint off his sleeve. Flames rising in my chest.  I couldn’t remember the last time there had been a goodbye kiss for me.

**Is This All There Is? will be on sale for 99 cents from 4/4 – 4/11!

Click HERE to view the book trailer!

**Buy the book!  Amazon   Barnes and Noble

**Contact the author, Patricia Mann:  Website/Blog   Facebook Fan Page   Facebook Friend Page   Twitter

Filed Under: Is This All There Is? Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Chick-Lit, Is This All There Is?, Patricia Mann

BOOK FEATURE: CHOCOLATE FONDUE

April 2, 2013 3 Comments

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“Chocolate Fondue” by Martha Reynolds

Words from the author about Chocolate Fondue:  CHOCOLATE FONDUE is a sequel to my debut novel, CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST; however, I’ve written it to stand alone. That is, it’s not necessary to have read the first book to read the second. It picks up where the first book leaves off – Bernadette Maguire has returned to Switzerland with her aunt for a much-needed vacation, and she’s come face to face with a young man she believes to be the son she gave up for adoption twenty-three years earlier. While she’s convinced of his identity, she doesn’t know whether she should reveal herself to him. The matter is complicated by another hotel employee, who discovers the truth and has her own intentions.

Blurb:  Twenty-three years ago, Bernie Maguire, a young student in Switzerland, delivered a son. Giving him up for adoption was the right decision, she knew, but Bernie always wondered about the boy who was now a young man.

Back in Fribourg, Switzerland for vacation, Bernie is stunned when she sees the man she knows is her son. Now she must decide whether to identify herself to him and hope for a connection, or say nothing and leave the young man to live his life. The matter is complicated by a hotel employee who discovers the truth, and who intends to get in the way of Bernie’s plans.

CHOCOLATE FONDUE is the sequel to Martha Reynolds’s award-winning debut novel, CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST, available online at Amazon.

**Buy Chocolate Fondue!

MarthaReynoldsB&W**Contact Martha:

Email: MarthaCFE@gmail.com   Facebook   Facebook: Author page   Goodreads   Twitter

**Additional comments by the author:  I’m so grateful to the Chick Lit Goddesses for support, encouragement, retweets (!), and hand-holding. There is no better group of writers anywhere! Also – this book is available at Amazon as an e-book, but a print version will be available within a few weeks.

Filed Under: Chocolate Fondue Tagged With: Book feature, Books, Chocolate Fondue, Martha Reynolds, Writing

BOOK FEATURE: MARKET STREET

April 2, 2013 1 Comment

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“MARKET STREET” by Anita Hughes

Blurb:  From the author of MONARCH BEACH comes a delicious story of a department store heiress, her messy marriage and her passion for food.

Filled with delicious descriptions of high fashion, gourmet food and the City By the Bay, MARKET STREET is a rewarding treat that will linger  long after its surprising and satisfying finish.

Chapter 1 (tease)

Cassie tore the edge of her croissant and looked out the Fenton department store’s floor-to-ceiling windows at the street below. Christmas was over, the post-Christmas sales were limping to a close, and men and women walked with their coats wrapped around them. The giant tree in Union Square had been carted away. The dazzling window displays in Gucci and Chanel, of Cinderella slippers studded with real diamonds to wear to holiday parties and little black dresses accessorized with stacks of multi-colored bracelets had been replaced with sensible January displays: rain boots, umbrellas and floor-length winter coats. Even Burberry’s window leaked bleak. The sweet reindeer wearing a plaid sweater and socks and been exchanged for a faceless mannequin wrapped in scarves like a mummy.

AnitaHughes2**About Anita Hughes:  Anita is the author of MONARCH BEACH. She attended UC Berkeley’s Masters in Creative Writing Program. Anita lives in Dana Point, CA with her family. Her third novel, LAKE COMO, will be released on August 13th, 2013.

**Contact:  Website  Facebook  Twitter

**Click HERE to read my review of her first book, “Monarch Beach”!

Filed Under: Market Street Tagged With: Anita Hughes, Book feature, Books, Chick-Lit, Market Street

Stardust Summer

February 20, 2013 4 Comments

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Blurb of “Stardust Summer”:  Single mom Grace Mason doesn’t believe in miracles, magic, or love at first sight. She likes the quiet life, complete with her eight-year-old son, their tiny house, and her teaching job. For Grace, happiness means that nothing much ever changes in Ocean Springs, Mississippi.

Then, one thousand miles away, tragedy strikes. A massive heart attack leaves Grace’s estranged father comatose in an Upstate New York hospital. While a team of doctors fight to keep Henry Mason alive, Grace and Evan rush to his bedside to say their final goodbyes.

Henry’s passing brings little closure for Grace, but she finds herself inexplicably drawn to her new surroundings. What begins as a short trip results in an entire summer spent with Henry’s second wife, Kathleen, and her next-door neighbor, Ryan Gordon, the town doctor. When a series of unlikely events lead to Evan’s disappearance, Grace must face her worst fears to find her son and bring him back home.

Stardust Summer explores the complexities of forgiveness, what it means to be a family, and the fabulous possibility of falling in love—again.

Guest Post

“Releasing A Backlist Title:  Scary and Satisfying”

Being a published author is frightening. Really scary.

For me, a novel’s release day is the equivalent of bungee jumping or cliff diving—complete with a pounding heart, racing pulse, and sweaty palms. (And I should mention that I’m terrified of heights!)

I have perpetual anxiety about the storyline, the characters, even the punctuation. I worry about the ending, the first sentence, and a potential sagging middle, even though a  manuscript has been read and reread a dozen times.

So what’s a writer to do?

As many of my author-friends have discussed, it would be SO nice to have a formula. A tried-and-true, no fail, plug-and-play guarantee for a blockbuster novel. If such a formula existed, I imagine the equation would go something like this:

500 Hours of Writing +  50 Hours of Editing  + 10 Hours of Proofreading

= A Great Story that Everyone Loves

 Unfortunately, no one’s discovered this equation—and when someone does—it’s unlikely that he or she will share it with me.

Don’t get me wrong—many readers DO appreciate the time spent planning a manuscript, the research that goes into a book’s development, and all of the time spent writing. Readers especially love careful proofreading—this I know for sure! But in the end, for the same readers—those people who’ve been super-sweet enough to pay hard-earned cash for an ebook or paperback—it’s only the story that matters.

I’ll say that again.

It’s only the story that matters.

Whether the effort takes five hundred hours or five minutes, the actual time spent creating a novel is irrelevant.

The story is key. Do the characters resonate? Is the setting interesting? Is the dialogue realistic?

I’m also an avid reader, so when I choose a new book and dive in, I ask myself those same questions, plus a few more. Is there enough conflict? Is the ending satisfying? Does the story stay with you after you’ve turned the last page?

With all of that in mind, the decision to release Stardust Summer was not an easy one. After all, I’d written the novel seven years earlier. It was a different time in my life. I hadn’t grown as much as a writer. It wasn’t exactly chick lit.

But, I liked the novel on a basic level. The setting—my favorite childhood vacation spot—is still a place I love. And no matter how hard I tried and how long the manuscript sat in a virtual “drawer” on my laptop, I couldn’t quite forget about the characters, their stories, and an ending that made me pretty darn happy.

More than a year ago, out of curiosity, I dug out the manuscript and sent it through cyberspace to a few trusted friends. Reliable writer-friends who would give me an unfiltered, unbiased opinions. And I braced myself for the constructive criticism. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long.

Yes, the novel needed work. No, it wasn’t terrible.

So, when life threw me a few unexpected curve balls recently, Stardust Summer nudged me again. As if to say…I’m still here. And it ended up being the perfect project on which to focus my energy. I attacked the novel with renewed vigor. Over the course of three months, I streamlined chapters, cut sections, revised dialogue, and polished each page.

I’ll admit that I’ve had a lot of questions and much advice about my decision. Why this story? Why a backlist title? Isn’t it risky? Shouldn’t authors should stick to the same genre? What if Stardust Summer isn’t successful?

I decided to release anyway. And today is the novel’s official debut! Of course, I’m back to standing on the edge of the imaginary cliff. I’m a little giddy. My nerves are shot. There’s a pit in my stomach. And, for about a month, my mind will spin off track with “what-ifs.”

As scary as it all is, this particular release day also brings with it a huge sense of relief and satisfaction—the same sort of content that comes with finishing a long project or accomplishing a difficult goal.

Now, it’s all up to you. Seven years later, it’s still only the story that matters. And you, as the reader, have the final say on that!

StardustSummerCover**Buy the “Stardust Summer!”

Amazon Kindle

B & N Nook

**About the book:

Title: Stardust Summer

Author: Lauren Clark

Genre: Women’s Fiction

Number of Pages: 280

**Contact the author, Lauren Clark:

Website  Blog  Facebook  Goodreads  Twitter  YouTube

Filed Under: Stardust Summer Tagged With: Book feature, Chick-Lit, Lauren Clark, Stardust Summer, Women's Fiction

The Fall of the Misanthrope: I Bitch, therefore I am

January 29, 2013 2 Comments

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The Fall of the Misanthrope: I Bitch, therefore I am

Genre: Contemporary romance/chick lit

Book blurb:

‘I thought you were the type of man who could handle a one-night stand. I’m sorry. I don’t want a relationship, sexual or meaningful.’

The Fall of the Misanthrope is a hilarious tale of one woman’s handling of the modern world. Snowed under with work, drinking espressos and popping energy pills to keep her awake at night to avoid a recurring nightmare, she plays with her health when she realises the depression, which caused her mother to kill herself, has caught her.

Bossy Ellen Semple thinks she has the answer: maternal love and cream cakes.

But Valerie begins dating playboy Lex Kendal, unaware that he’s Ellen’s nephew and the very reason why her brokerage has taken ‘exceptionally good business lately’. Ellen believes his ‘bed ‘em and leave ‘em’ ethos will damage Valerie even more but Lex rubbishes her fears.

But it’s Lex who falls for Valerie and she dumps him.

Then Valerie has a nightmare that turns everything she’s ever known the right way up. She’d been walking on a time-bomb. Or is she losing her mind?

Chapter 1 tease:

There was that woman again.

I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She was sitting on the wooden bench looking up at the church and then occasionally in my direction. I crouched at the graveside, pushing stems of daisies and carnations through the wire holes in the top of the vase.

Crikey, it was cold. I stood up and pulled my gloves back on before stepping back to admire my handiwork. The flowers looked pretty. There was a plaque – but only my brother was buried there, my parents’ ashes had been scattered over the top.

I picked up the paper the flowers had been wrapped in and mashed it in my hands. I could still feel the curious stare of the woman, whom I did my best to ignore. The bins were by the bench. I headed over, keeping my head low.

‘Hello,’ she said.

I nodded, dropped the litter and turned away. I pulled up the collar on my coat, not only to block out this stranger’s inquisitive eyes but because the air was stinging my cheeks. I wondered how she could sit for so long without freezing up.

‘I’m Ellen,’ she said. Good manners made me turn back.

‘I’m Valerie, good day.’ Oh, how very English and polite, I thought, as I walked away.

‘November’s turned cold, hasn’t it?’ she said standing and falling into step beside me. ‘Do you think we’ll have snow?’

I walked faster, but the woman kept pace with me.

‘We’ve been lucky with the weather so far, but I think it can be safely said that winter has arrived,’ she said. ‘Are you a winter person, Valerie?’

Not only had she invaded my space, she was asking anal questions too. She didn’t bother to wait for an answer, which was good, seeing as I wasn’t going to supply one but prattled on with another:

‘Who’re you visiting?’ She nodded over to my brother’s grave.

‘Family.’

‘Close family?’

With the gates in sight, I afforded her a brief glance. ‘Not any more.’

Her smile waned a little, but I strode forward, hoping to be first through the gates. But it didn’t happen like that and we ended up locked together between black iron.

She burst into peals of laughter before stepping back and allowing me to exit first. I gave her a no-nonsense smile, and stepped through the gates towards my car. The car park was almost empty, so I couldn’t understand why a bright red Mini was parked so close to my Vectra.

I heard Ellen giggling behind me, and I had a horrible feeling the Mini was hers. I bleeped my car open, but there was no way I could get access unless it was from the passenger side.

I turned to Ellen. She grinned at me, aimed the keys and bleeped her car. ‘Brilliant things, aren’t they?’ she said.

‘What?’

She jiggled her keys. ‘These bleepy things.’

I placed my bag on the bonnet of my Vectra, and pointed at her car. ‘You’ve an entire car park at your disposal, and you chose to park not only next to me, but right on top so I can’t get in!’

She stared at me, but much to my chagrin, her smile only got wider. She winked, then circled to the driver’s side of her car where she slid behind the wheel. ‘Take care of that blood pressure of yours,’ she said and closed the door.

She drove away leaving me staring after her in shock.

‘Cheeky bitch,’ I said. I climbed into my car and drove towards work.

There was a holdup at the traffic lights, which I couldn’t understand because the lights were green. Impatiently, I stabbed at my horn with the heel of my hand, and a car in front of the car I was behind shot off just as the lights changed to red. I noticed it was the Mini from the graveyard. ‘Typical,’ I muttered.

I thought back to the first time I’d seen her. It was summer time, and she was on that same bench and I was tending to the grave. She’d smiled but hadn’t attempted to speak. Come to think of it, I’d seen her before then too, and I remembered her because she was wearing a bright green raincoat with a huge sunflower on the back. At first glance I thought it had been a target board.

The lights changed and I eased my car forward. Obviously she had lost family too, I thought. I’ll change my visits from the middle of every month to the end. That way I’d not encounter her again.

~

I stepped inside the foyer of my office and, ignoring the lift, I climbed the stairs. It wasn’t that I wanted the exercise, I just didn’t like lifts. I didn’t like most things to be honest: animals, people, modern music, Keith Lemon to name a few. I liked numbers and data. They were my forte; safe and solid numbers.

The office block was only three storeys. The first floor was all taken by one firm, and besides saying ‘hello’ we never spoke at all. I shared the top floor with an accountancy firm. I rented the largest office, which had a connecting door to a smaller one. The smaller office was mine, and it overlooked Sallington Park; the other room was for my staff.

Inside, I heard the steady drone of office banter – all two of them. I ran a financial advisory brokerage for Sunny Oak. I pushed open the door.

‘Mr McFindley has called to cancel tonight’s appointment,’ Tim informed me before I was barely over the threshold, ‘and I’ve chased Tracey Sadark for her previous insurance details. She’s promised to phone them through later this afternoon. I’ve three new appointments booked for tonight and it’s only eleven o’clock! Oh, and I’ve ordered new stationery from HQ, but there’s going to be a delay on stamps for the new logo.’ He jumped up to give me his list and then proceeded over to the bubbling percolator and poured me a coffee. He was Tim the Tireless. At five foot nothing and approaching retirement age Tim would never walk if he could run.

‘And did you call Darren Yardley like I asked?’ I asked.

‘Of course. He’s going to fax over his details.’ He grinned and handed me a cup of steaming coffee that resembled tar – just as I liked it. ‘I’ve arranged an interview for your new assistant at three tomorrow afternoon.’ He whipped out his notebook. ‘I’ve her details—’

‘Later!’ I raised a hand to shut him off. My eyes fell on a pile of customer files still sitting on top of the filing cabinet. ‘Paul?’ I said, pointing. ‘Why hasn’t the filing been done?’

‘There isn’t any filing, Miss Anthrope,’ he said. He insisted on calling me by my surname at all times. He’d only recently learned to stop standing when I entered a room, so small mercies. I noticed that he was busy sorting coloured paperclips into little piles of blue, red and pink, on his desk.

‘What’s that then?’ I said, still pointing at the filing.

He peered at me through his owl-framed glasses, and then at the files. ‘Are they for filing?’

‘Yes, Paul,’ I said. ‘They were there yesterday and probably before the weekend, too. Do it immediately. This inefficiently of yours is getting ridiculous!’

Paul dived on a coloured paperclip and held it up to the light as if admiring a diamond. ‘An orange paperclip,’ he said. ‘Now these are unusual.’

‘Tell me again when I can retire him?’ I said to Tim.

‘Leave him to me, Valerie,’ he said.

‘Pleasure.’ Feeling a headache coming on I left them for my office. Inside, I placed my coffee on my desk, and unbuttoned my coat but didn’t take it off. I was still cold from the graveyard visit.

I touched the radiator. It was lukewarm. Rubbing my hands together, I stared out of the window while trying to encourage warmth from the radiator below. I’d meant to bring in my little heater from home but forgot – must remember for tomorrow. I didn’t want the cold to put off my interviewee. I hadn’t much success with staff; Tim and Paul were seemingly the only ones I could hang on to.

Tim was my sales representative; he was good at selling, or rather, talking. I think people signed on the dotted line just to be rid of him. Paul, a general assistant, wanted to work fewer hours and I thought hiring someone to job-share alongside him would be a good idea, with the added benefit that he or she could be a sort of PA for me. I wanted to concentrate on sales and presentations and leave the general running of the office to someone else.

I vowed to try and be nice in the interview. It wouldn’t be easy.

**Contact Louise:

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Filed Under: Louise Wise, The Fall of the Misanthrope: I Bitch, therefore I am Tagged With: Book feature, Chick-Lit, Louise Wise, The Fall of the Misanthrope: I Bitch, therefore I am

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